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Say YES to Yourself More This Year Do you ever wish you had a less complicated life?   Even if your job and life are overcomplicated out of necessity, like launching a rocket or performing brain surgery, you can still simplify everything. How do you do it? Your actions in your life and your job are probably not causing the overwhelm. It's the people and the results that are causing you to feel that way. The easier way to under-complicate is to begin saying "No" to the arbitrary and unattainable demands of others and focus exclusively on the results you want.  Here are a couple of ideas: 1) Practice the law of "Good Enough." Perfectionism is overrated. It will waste years of productive time you could use to enjoy life. Set your standards and rise to them. 2) Get good at saying "No." Make that two-letter word your default answer for everything. And remember, sometimes, saying nothing at all gets the same result. 3) Remember that the only thing you must do in life is take a BREATH. Everything else is optional an

4 Steps to Getting What You Want — and Keeping It. Creating a difference in your life is a non-stop process that requires simple actions to help you get what you want. And it is, after all, about getting what you want and keeping what you love. You’ll always go through these steps: 1) Decide. Everything begins with your decision to head off in a new direction. While sometimes you may feel like you’ve made a decision, if you’re not moving, you haven’t. 2) Define. Aimless wandering is fun when that’s what you’ve decided to do. Otherwise, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and takes place more than you think. When you define your path, you get to walk your path. 3) Deploy. As dull as the advice may be, putting your plan into action is the only way to get what you want. If you don’t deploy, you don’t get it. 4) Defend. After working hard to get what you want, you can guarantee that something or somebody will try to take away your results. That’s not good or bad. That’s life. When you find what you love, defend it so y

Questions Before You Begin Anything Everybody has dreams. Daydreams, dreams while you sleep, and dreams of what you wish for the future. I’ve always believed that dreams are goals you have nurtured to become real.  But how do you know if the voice speaking to your heart will lead you in the right direction? Brant Pinvidic’s book, The 3-Minute Rule, has four questions that will help: 1) What is it? Do you understand precisely what you want?  2) How does it work? How will you go about reaching your goal? What will likely be the outcome? 3) Can you do it? Is your plan reasonable? Do you have the time, skills, and money?  4) Are you sure? Are you confident you can achieve your goal if you are willing to put in the effort? Use these when something is holding you back. I promise. The clarity you are seeking is around the corner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Morning Routines Power One thing that I'm always going to do is refine my morning routine — it's a never-ending process.  You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU? In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings—personal and productive. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two.  But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying? Before I go on, I must admit that I was not a morning person and didn't like getting up early. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep.  Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, "I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!" That didn't work well because I didn't see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to

Jerry Seinfeld’s Success Secret It’s the time of the year when I always remember the lesson I learned from Jeff Seinfeld. I’ll never forget the day a friend called and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse - and I didn’t. Rob was an event promotor who had snagged the chance to book an up-and-coming comedian, Jerry Seinfeld, into a local venue. He needed somebody to warm up the audience and introduce Jerry. I was all in when he agreed to cover my drink tab and let me hang out with Jerry before the show. It was 1986, and Jerry’s television series about nothing was still developing. I know that because it’s what we talked about before the show. As he munched on veggies and sipped sparkling water, I’ll never forget how focused he was on getting what he wanted. Tired and worn out from living on the road, I asked how he managed to keep going. He said — “I know exactly what I want. I’m a comedian, so I have to be funny. The only way to be funny is to write funny jokes. The only way to write funny jokes is to write ever

It’s Time To Explore What’s Possible I’ve spent the last couple of days saying things like — “What do you do when you are doing you, and your purpose is to find your purpose?” Now, I realize that something so simple is also something most people will ignore.  I also realized that for some people, as soon they begin reading and realize they’ve already heard it, tune out and open the next email.  That’s unfortunate. Studies have long ago proven that repetition is the Mother of all skills. Yes, it takes time to learn new things and master them. But getting a new skill is not the value of repetition — it’s the doors it opens. When you opened my email yesterday, you were a different person than now. And tomorrow you will be different than you will be by the end of the week. As you explore your day, you’ll figure out what doesn’t work, lock in what does, and update your worldview. You will see things differently. The wisdom you collect will transform your personality as you explore your life and you will begin beco

Your Purpose is to Find Your Purpose This time of year most people are setting Big Ass Goals and working on the daily baby steps it takes to achieve those goals. It’s an activity that has proven effective ever since humans figured out that we are hard-wired to seek purpose in our lives. Let’s pause for a light-hearted lecture, shall we? If you are not setting goals that excite you and establishing small habits that make them a reality, you may as well skip into a Las Vegas casino and trust that the ‘house’ has your back and is setting you up for the big win. I have news for you. That’s not their Purpose, so you better know yours. But wait? What if I don’t know my Purpose? A long time ago, I realized that it was well beyond my pay grade to know somebody else’s purpose so I began giving this advice — “If you don’t know your purpose, your purpose is to find your purpose.” As simple as it sounds, it’s amazing how freeing it can be to realize that searching for what you want is living on purpose. Psychologists def

You Were Born to Do YOU Can you imagine what might happen if you dared to think like your true self, act your true self, and share your true self?  That makes you smile - right? Or maybe you feel that living from the inside out and being fully authentic with the world is self-centered, egotistical, and not how you should be. Still, I bet you’re smiling, at least a little, at the thought. You were born with two things that are yours, and you alone to use as you see fit - or not. The first is Free Will, and without digging into the spiritual and scientific reasons, no matter what happens in your life, you are always doing things YOUR way. Even if you feel that your destiny is pre-determined, you will do it YOUR way.  Imagine what would happen if you choose to do the things you love and do them your way. You were also born with a Unique Ability that you don’t share with anybody else. It has always been there and will never leave you. Imagine what would happen if you were to choose to use it in everything you do.

Stoic Rules For a Happy Life 300 BC, political life was driving people crazy. To calm the masses, several schools of philosophy popped up. Stoicism still resonates powerfully today. 1. Don't enslave yourself to annoying people. 2. Choose reasonable expectations. 3. Pre-meditate those expectations. 4. You are a mind operating a bag of chemicals you call a body. 5. Stop pretending you know that things are bad. 6. You were put here to reason, so use it already. 7. Life is NOT too short. 8. Feel your emotions like a Stoic would. They are your power. 9. Anger is a choice. 10. When it comes down to it, we are dogs tied to the back of a cart. Sound wisdom never goes out of style. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mapping: Your Success System Wouldn’t having a plan to help you get what you want would be great?   What you need is M.A.P.S.S. - a system that gets thinking out of the way and focuses on actions in four areas: Motivation: Everything begins with knowing ‘WHY’ you set your goals. Stay motivated. Accountability: Being accountable and accepting responsibility for your results will empower your success. Saying, ‘If it’s to be, it’s up to me,’ is a great way to get started. Planning: Plan your work, work you plan. It’s simple. If you can’t plan it, you won’t be able to do it. Systemization: The first steps of any worthy goal are difficult. As you get more comfortable with your process, lock in the actions and repeat them until you get what you want. Sustainability: Everything takes longer than you think. Momentum is built in life by stacking your accomplishments sequentially. Make sure you set yourself up for the long haul. The freedom you desire rests on a stable and repeatable foundation: Motivation, Accountabil

Thriving in Modern Times. It’s Easy.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard somebody say— "If I knew I would live this long, I would have cared for myself better and saved more money." True or true? Modern times are exciting, and when it comes to living a long life, people either think life is too short or long. If you do things correctly, long enough is the best answer, but 200 years ago, most folks didn't have the luxury of thinking about things like that. If you lived during those times, you lived at a slower and harder pace. And, since time is relative, your perception was also slower. Everything was slower. It would be like a two-week, off-the-grid vacation in a mountain cabin without your phone in modern times if you think about it. That used to be daily life. Yes, living to the ripe old age of 40 felt like living to 100 today - if something simple didn't take you out sooner.  When California had open land, low-priced real estate, and gold in them-there-hills, almost everybody died much younger tha

Building Your Bridge to Happiness Changing something about your life is pretty straightforward.  Figure out what you want and change it. Are you done laughing? Most folks fall on the way to their dreams because they don't move, move at the wrong time, or move too fast. That's why it's time to build your bridge once you know what you want. Here's how: 1) Fortify your current foundation. Save money, pay bills, and do whatever it takes to build a firm and peaceful base. 2) Begin constructing the foundation for your new life. Go to school, network, research, and plan. Do everything in your power to ensure your success with no regret. 3) When you're ready, leave your past behind, cut off the old, and begin living your new life. Be patient. Wait until you are at least 70% ready to succeed before you cross to the other side.   Success arrives when you move from a solid TODAY for a stronger TOMORROW. Don't leap too soon, but don't delay, either. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes You Need to Be Someone Else Have you allowed yourself to become the person you are on the inside?   We all make decisions that change our life trajectory without much thought. That can lead to feelings of being lost on your life path. Maybe it's time to create a new way of seeing yourself. Using a Transitional Identity is a great way to feel confident when you can’t believe in your future.   The trick is to focus on the smaller steps to your destination. That will allow you to move away from who you are, yet not jump to who you want to be in one big step.   “I’m running a successful small business and laying the foundation for my empire. All I have to do is keep moving.” “I’m a great student. Very soon, I will be a great teacher to others. All I have to do is keep moving.” “I’m incredible at losing 1 pound at a time. Soon, I’ll hit my goal and weigh 100 pounds. All I have to do is keep moving.” Transitional Identities are temporary and ever-changing. They are helpful when destinations are hard to se

Life is Happier With Values An immense frustration for most folks is feeling like other people are getting in the way. That will stop the very instant you begin to live according to your Values as you work toward your Goals. Here's the simple recipe for enjoying every minute of the day: 1) Know, understand, and practice living your Values. While it's difficult, you will feel happier and in control. 2) Be sure only to set Goals that allow you to practice your Values along the way. Doing otherwise is not being who you are. 3) Prepare for a shock wave from people who wonder why you won't do things their way. And get ready for the peace of mind you will begin to feel. Self-directing your life according to your innermost thoughts is the ultimate power. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creating Your Average Perfect Day How would you feel if every day, on average, was as you wanted?   It's time to make your dreams come true and create your "Average Perfect Day."  Here's how it works: 1) Find a quiet spot and write a detailed description of your perfect day. Let your fantasies flow onto paper until you've mapped out morning until night. 2) Focus on your daily experiences, not material goods. In other words, if you want a sports car, focus on how you feel in the driver's seat.   3) Fight the urge to judge. The goal is to slow down, tap into your core, and get excited about what's possible.  There is one last rule that you must follow. There are no limitations and no consequences. Let yourself be free to dream. You are going to be surprised how many start coming true. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Traditions Are Happiness Are you a person who always does things the same way or prefers to change things at every chance? If you're lucky, you are both. Traditions are the secret sauce behind our emotional connection at this time of year. Family get-togethers, office gatherings, crazy shopping crowds? The traditions make our lives unique and are always present, never forgotten, and form the fabric of our lives. They are very human, and they are essential. But let's return to my earlier comment that "traditions make our lives special." The fact is, somebody has to make the tradition.  Is that you? My wife and I were walking in the neighborhood and noticed Janice was almost finished with her Christmas decorations. I stopped and said— "Wow. That looks like a lot of work!" "Yes, it is. But I love it, and it's my tradition," she said. "Well, thank you for making Christmas great for the rest of us." Whether Christmas, New Year's, or any other time, traditions are the same as habits and rituals. They make our lives

Escaping Your Past  My mind is constantly searching for a simple process for anything that will help me get what I want, and that usually comes down to something I talk about a lot: making a decision.  I speak about decision-making much of my day because it’s the most dynamic tool in your personal growth tool kit.  It should be easy — Almost everything you will ever want to do in life has already been done. The solution to getting what you wish to should be based on logic and proven steps. In other words, figure out what works and do it.  But, as much as we can all agree that it should be easy, using logic to get what we want doesn’t have much to do with being a human—that’s where emotions and a more psychological approach come into play.  “Come on, let’s just do what we know works?” You say. “No. I’m not feeling it. Let’s go with the flow and figure it out?” Logical vs emotional thinking is an epic battle that Stephen Spielberg could tell in a blockbuster movie. Oh, wait, it always is! Let’s take a side trip

The Gift of YOU As we approach the most spiritual time of year, I find more and more of my thoughts are focused on what my future will bring. But instead of drafting a list of goals, my mind seems to settle into a different place— What if I could give myself a gift that instantly gives me what I want? What if I don't have to chase my dreams and start living them instead? What if there was nothing in my way - ever? While that way of thinking may seem out of touch today, it's not. It happens daily for millions of people worldwide and can happen to you, too. Here's a simple truth— Everything changes instantly and, very likely, forever when you decide.  If you hate your job and decide to quit, everything changes. Everything changes instantly if you decide you need space for yourself, turn your phone off, and walk in the woods. If you say "Yes" to yourself and "No" to others more often, you experience change. I could go on forever, but I don't need to. If you've been alive for any time, you understand that you're

Happy and DON’T Know it? I can’t remember her name, but I can tell you she was not a happy person.   I arrived for a class reunion on a hot, hazy, and humid Virginia day. As I stepped toward the check-in table, a friend of more than thirty years locked eyes with me, broke into tears, and screamed— “Oh, Scott… can you help me?”  Next, she bolted out of her seat, ran around the table, and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me.   This is not the first time this has happened, and as a professional, I knew what I would say, “Of course I’ll help. Just let me get settled.“  Frankly, I was buying time to figure out why somebody I have never known not to be happy was acting unhappy.  What had changed? Nothing. My friend found herself a full-fledged member of The Always Club, as in “I always wanted to be thin and in shape… I always wanted to find my purpose in life… I always wanted to make more money… I always… I was a member of The Always Club, along with about a gazillion other folks trying to figure

What Do You Want For Christmas? Last year, sometime between Halloween and Thanksgiving, I found myself finishing leftover candy and biting into a Jolly Rancher - a recipe for disaster for anybody with a mouth full of dental work.  As you might have predicted, it wasn't long before I was at the dentist. I don't like dentists much. Maybe it was because, as a kid, our family dentist was Dr. PAIN… uh… Dr. Payne. Still, there I was with the sound of drilling and suction filling the room, along with the occasional mumbled answer coming from my mouth, answering important questions like, "What have you been up to lately?" Then tell me not to move my mouth. Seriously?  Is that a skill they teach at dental school?  Please wait until your patient can't speak and ask them a question.  That's like me asking my young kids a question at the dinner table and telling them not to chew with their mouths open. But that's life.  Sometimes, life doesn't make sense, even though I would argue that things are always good, which is wh