The Chick Whisperer Podcast

Get ready to install 'mental kevlar' and become virtually unoffendable thanks to my guest, author Bill Lee-Emery from Australia. Handling criticism is a huge issue for nearly every man. Even Elon Musk himself isn't immune to taking criticism harshly. So how does the nature of our internal critic determine how we'll measure external criticism? What's the difference between finding it unfortunate that someone doesn't agree with you and being butthurt by it? How does a mature, evolved man respond to critics without coming off as defensive? What is the important distinction one must make when encountering external criticism? How can we best deal with trolls who use the 'Twitter Effect' for maximum emotional impact on social media? What is the real-world psychological effect of focusing on either the positive or negative aspects of things too much? I mean, should we really be telling our kids 'good job' when they come in last place? What does true 'agreement' really look like...not only with others, but with yours

In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly 'small' annoyances in a relationship are actually HUGE to the other partner. And YES...you want examples, and we've got 'em. What's the difference between being snarky and being a smart-ass...and is either okay? What are some dangerous ways that bad parenting can actually negatively affect your relationship? What should always be off the table in any disagreement and NEVER fair game? And how about those habits we fall into that seem innocuous at first, but prove to be toxic over time? What kinds of expectations are too idealistic for real life...and which are perfectly reasonable? How do external stresses seep into

This is the first of a two-part episode with Emily on the little things that either make a relationship with a woman great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains are often (maybe even usually) composed of small pebbles. How important is being playful instead of taking oneself so seriously? What does that even mean? As a man, should you put her needs and OUR needs ahead of YOUR needs? If so, what if your needs never get met? Next we talk about various kinds of 'micro-bursts' that can really supercharge your relationship. What does it mean when I say, 'Freedom from obligation is literally nothing'? How can certain little secret messages and spontaneous flirts change the dynamic between partners for the better? What 'three little words' are every bit as important as 'I love you'? Is talking everything ou

People have stopped making sense, the emperor has no clothes everywhere you go, and it seems to anyone with half a brain left that we're living in an Idiocracy. It's scary how prescient movies like that and, say, Wall-e are starting to seem. Critical thinking and personal responsibility aren't only discouraged, they're flat-out vilified. But WHY? Johnny Elsasser from The Art Of Masculinity podcast joins me to piece together how we got to this point, especially with regard to how men and women relate nowadays. Doesn't everyone instinctively know when something is stupid--possibly even those proffering the stupidity themselves? Do they really believe their own narrative, or do they just hope YOU will? Do people trust truth over facts? ...Or is that more like facts over truth? And what's up with all the childish intolerance? I mean, even the anti-bullying movement bullies those who disagree with them. How did we get programmed to politicize virtually everything nowadays? What is it about fear that makes us so st

My guest holds top-secret clearance as a Lieutenant Colonel in the USAF, pilots a 787 for United Airlines, practices law AND is a self-help coach. He even hosts his own podcast, The Greg Krino Show. That makes him the right guy to talk about balancing careers, passions and purpose...and there's plenty to discuss. What is the best guiding principle for measuring how much work and responsibility you can pile on your plate? What happens when you have a hard time saying "no"? Given how driven most men can be, do we need paternity leave? Next, discover a genius but simple hack for balancing career responsibility with family commitments. How is a mature, evolved man different in how he goes about balancing multiple responsibilities? What are the red flags that we've either got too much going on...or too little? What are the practical steps to take from there? Listen in for the great ironic truth men need to live by, especially if they work in a service-oriented career. How does passion intersect with intelligence a

Nowadays, many of us as men find it more challenging than ever to relate to women. We hear from the media that our masculinity is "toxic", if it even exists as opposed to being a mere social construct. And most frustrating of all? We're not given an alternative. We're simply told to "do better". This is Scot McKay, host of The Mountain Top Podcast for men...since 2007, the definitive podcastfor evolved men of character. My expert co-hosts and I talk women, dating, relationships and 21st century masculinity in a fast-paced, entertaining and often controversial style. Plus, it can be a very funny show, especially when I have female guests on and bring out their playful, feminine nature. Join thousands of men worldwide--current AND future entrepreneurs, captains of industry, professionals, military officers, first responders and other high-achieving men who work hard AND play hard--all of whom have chosen to boldly stand up, take ownership, reclaim virtuous masculinity and--most of all--enrich their lives with f

All my exes happen to live in Texas. But does that mean I should remain in contact with them all, let alone maintain friendships with them? I've found the perfect guest to hit this topic with. She's Sabrina Shaheen Cronin, who heads up the Cronin Law Firm in Michigan and has quite an Internet presence in her field. Yes, she's a family law attorney...but FINALLY one who actually puts the interests of all parties involved in her cases at the forefront. We kick it all off by listing potentially good and bad reasons to stay connected with an ex. You know we'll bring up how some of us have a hard time saying 'no', especially if she's hot. Next, we discuss how it's human nature that we generally only think of the good times when reminiscing about someone, don't we? Why do people get divorced and then remarry the same person? Can toxicity only be apparent to one partner, but not to the other? What are some common examples of that? What is the key word that generally decides whether two people can remain friends post

Most people think about therapy as healing from the past, and as coaches we think and talk more about setting future-oriented goals and reaching them. But the truth is that healing from the past is a necessary step to forging ahead successfully in the future. The truly sobering part is that we as men can go years--even decades--without acknowledging, or even realizing the psychological and emotional wounds we need to recover from. Nevertheless, if your upbringing, past relationships or other circumstances have resulted in deep insecurities or even rage, then you have the power to turn that around and become the man you want to be. That's the entire point of my co-host Justin Long's latest book. For starters, we talk about how the biggest kiss of death is being too hard on ourselves, and how it paralyzes us from going forward with perceived risk. Next, we cover how the dreaded approval seeking tendencies make things worse, sending us into an even deeper spiral of self-doubt and loss of confidence. And even tho

My guest Avi Lev is a cognitive behavioral therapist and the founder/director of the Bay Area CBT Center. She has spent lots of time considering how both men AND women fear rejection, and talks about it in completely different terms than your garden variety old school PUA would have. In this episode you'll discover how our behaviors actually influence how women respond to u, sometimes in unexpected or even counterintuitive ways. What is the dirty little trick we play on ourselves that often results in feeling 'rejected' when we really haven't been? It's like we're our own worst enemy...often. But hold on a second, Avi and I differ on how much we believe confidence helps in rejection-phobic situations with women. How can that be? Next, Avi offers her own interpretation of deserving what you want and how it directly affects getting over fear of rejection. Then we drop a bomb on the whole conversation when we pronounce being 'impressive' straight up irrelevant to approach and attraction. As you may know, I've ta

After over three decades of coaching, my guest has concluded that when we experience PEACE we are more production with regard to that which we deem most important. This led him to develop the controversial 30-Day Opinion Diet. In his words, 'It's a detox for your mind, not your body. Taking a break from constantly judging every situation in your life can do wonders for your mental health.' Now, we already know Twitter and Facebook are designed to draw us into spontaneous and often toxic debate, which keeps us addicted to their platforms. But the social cost of everyone being their own media outlet--and trolling each other--is harsh. So how does ceasing and desisting from scattering our opinions far and wide help us? And how does it actually make us MORE attractive to women? What damage has the 'pack mentality' associated with the echo chamber phenomenon already done to our collective psyche? How are dating apps particularly insidious when it comes to messing with our heads? Listen in as Matthew describes the

My guest today is a long-time Wall Street Journal reporter who has followed the political lives of presidents, senators and governors. Her new book is called, Why They Stay: Sex Scandals, Deals and Hidden Agendas Of Eight Political Wives. Now, I already know you're probably not tuning in to hear tabloid gossip. But Anne's work is immensely valuable to us as we look inside the relationships the most powerful men in the world have with the women in their lives. Wait until you discover some of the golden truths you can readily apply to your own life, as well as many of the potential relationship pitfalls you can avoid. Indeed, this episode is loading to the hilt with 20/20 foresight. For starters, what behaviors and habits do so-called 'power couples' uniquely exhibit? What do wives of powerful men seem to have in common? Do women necessarily marry high-achieving men simply to leech off of them? Or is it they're seeking to ride 'coat tails' in search of their own power, money, fame as opposed to love? Do some wo

How do elite performers get on top of their game and stay there? My guest is the eponymous head of Dominique Brightmon International, a member of the John Maxwell team who has quite literally written the book on the subject. Dom has identified seven secret keys to sustainable success, and he reveals all of them in this episode. Listen in as he talks about the concept of self-leadership, and why it differentiates winners from the 'also-rans'. Why are so many people nowadays lapsing into the 'sheeple' mentality? Could it be because gaining control by weakness has become far too effective nowadays? I mean, in such a context, what is the value of even trying to perform at all, let alone at an elite level? How can we sort out following the herd versus what sounds like good ideas versus what's really going to work for us individually? Why is it that self-awareness is so massively lacking in our culture? What has the habit of instant gratification turned most of us into? What is the real dichotomy between working sm

I couldn't help but invoke pro bowler Pete Weber's infamous quote as the title of this episode. After all, we're talking about twin flames...the idea that your very soul is split here on earth and one other specific human shares it with you. I've known about this concept for quite a while, but it took until now to find the right guest. Elle Hari is indeed a world-class expert on the subject, having studied under the now-deceased undisputed twin flame guru. Now granted, I realizes this sounds like a chick thing from Cosmo on the surface, but hang with me here. What do we as men need to know, and how can we relate? I mean, is our twin flame destined to be our 'one and only'? Is she hot? Is she even a 'she'? And wait a minute...isn't this really just the same thing as the time-worn soulmate concept? (Spoiler alert...it's not.) Are you supposed to marry your twin flame? After all, wouldn't procreating with your twin flame be like inbreeding your soul? What if your twin flame is far away? Do they have the same bir

My guest Dr. Gary Salyer is a well-known subject matter expert in the area of attachment theory. That means he has spent a whole lot of time studying how--and why--humans fall in love and the alchemy of relationships. He also knows something about why people fall OUT of love and tend to hurt each other even when they're IN love. His book is called Safe To Love Again, and in this episode we talk about whether or not falling in love is worth it, and if so how to make it last. Why do so many men scoff at the idea of falling in love, as if it's grounds for surrendering one's 'man card'? Is the idea of getting into a long-term relationship with someone specifically because of how one feels toward them legit? After all, it's a relatively modern construct. And what of the confusion among us as men when we're told on one hand to be stoic in our masculinity, while on the other hand being told it's okay and healthy to exhibit more emotion...especially in the context of a relationship? So then, is love a feeling or is i

It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-di

Everything would be so much easier if we could just figure out, with absolute certainty, whether a woman was sexually interested in us or not. I mean, we're told to look for eye contact, hair twirling, lip biting and other objective signals, but most of us just never, ever see that sort of thing happening right before our very eyes. Is it that we aren't getting the hints? Or could it be that there's a whole different set of clues we should be looking for? And for sure, it's not like all of these signals happen face-to-face. For example, there's no way we can see a woman twirling her hair through a text message, right? With so many potential scenarios both in-person and virtual, there's got to be a better way to accurately gauge a woman's interest level. Plus, there should be a whole different game plan for a woman you already know compared to a cold approach. My long-time friend and fellow dating coach Bobby Rio joins me to talk about all the different ways women indicate they're into us. Although we'll give

Well, this is one of those episodes that had better be a lot of fun, or else we will have missed the point completely. And indeed it is. The deep-dive into how to bring out a woman's playful nature has been a long time coming, and I've finally found the right guest to make it happen. Alicia Munoz is a couples therapist and the wildly-popular author several books, including The Couples Quiz Book. As you may know, I've always believed that one of the greatest skills a man can have is the ability to coax out playfulness in women. After all, 'girls just wanna have fun', and leading in that direction is the very essence of flirtation and absolutely ignites femininity. Yet, many of us as guys are nonplussed by the prospect of doing such, either because we have no idea where to start, we don't exactly grasp the difference between encouraging femininity and actually BEING feminine, or we've been conditioned to be 'stoic' and take ourselves way too seriously. Right off the bat, Alicia brings up the concept of doing vs

My guest is the author of 'Mental Illness Is An A**hole', an attention-getting title if there ever was one. Indeed, Gabe Howard has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, which greatly contributed to the downfall of his first marriage. Today, however, he is in a successful long-term relationship spanning ten years. Meanwhile, as you probably know, my own first marriage was rocked by my spouse's mental illness, and I have been vehemently outspoken against getting into relationships with those who are under the care of a psychiatrist for psychoses. I was most certainly up front with Gabe about my opinions, and to his credit he was game to come on the show and present his counter-points anyway. In this episode, he offers plenty of stories and examples...all the while acknowledging others' right to disagree and draw their own conclusions. And you can be sure I didn't hold back on the hard questions. Crazy people may need love too, but can they deserve what they want? Gabe throws his case out on the table in full.

Swagger is a loaded word, isn't it? You may picture someone who is not just super-confident, but downright arrogant, right? Well, my guest Leslie Ehm is the author of a popular book meant to challenge old stereotypes surrounding swagger and redefine them. It's called, Swagger: Unleash Everything You Are To Become Everything You Want. In it, not only does she throw down the differences between mere confidence, arrogance and swagger; she explains how the true essence of it all is about personal power. In fact, she has a whole swagger PROCESS by which you can getchasum for yourself. So then, for starters what are Leslie's three elements that drive swagger? How can you leverage your unique traits and talents to increase it? What inherent risks come with being your authentic self that can actually serve to build swagger? What is the one key factor that makes your personal brand of swagger charming to others rather than off-putting? What should you think and do when people disagree with you, or flat-out don't like

My guest Roman Chiporukha and his wife run a high-end travel adventure curation service for the uber-wealthy. Not only does he know a lot of famous and powerful people, his gig has been expanded of late to include space tourism curation as well. In fact, Roman has already seated at least one civilian astronaut on a trip to the ISS in the near future. As you might imagine, Roman has traveled the world extensively (and expensively?) himself. All of this, of course, makes for a fascinating discussion of how being 'worldly' serves us as men. But it also makes a conversation about space travel and colonization a moral imperative. So what has Roman discovered about culture, human perceptions and especially relating to women through all his travels? Well, wait until you hear his ninja advice for charming women no matter where in the world you go. As our conversation moves toward the cosmos, we cover all sorts of wild, futuristic questions. What is sex going to be like in space? How will the first small colonies of p