Taking Ship

In this steaming hot summer in Dumbest Timeline America, Maggie, Frank and Elie hand out some of the hottest takes imaginable on SCOTUS, the NY14th and what it means for Dems, what PM May is thinking (or not) and we sing a dirge for Scott Pruitt.

Frank & Elie welcome Maggie Moore as an official crew member of Salty Jason's Revenge and then things get weird. For your listening pleasure we reevaluate and define Dumbest Timeline America, the incompetence/malice scale and then spend way too much time on AltCenterism and dragging on DaveBro and JRube. You should listen, eat turkey and buy tshirts.

With #DumbestTimelineAmerica turning into the low-budget Bulgarian sequel to the Airplane! movies, the crew of Salty Jason's Revenge by special Igles correspondent, Mike Connolly to talk patriotism, stupidity and the meaning of life. After another dumb football conversation, Frank and Elie turn to reviewing this week's primaries and a deep dive into New Mexico. Articles discussed: https://deadspin.com/the-nfl-is-too-dumb-to-realize-that-donald-trump-is-nev-1826558748

With audio quality leaving much to be desired, the crew of Salty Jason’s Revenge are joined by the Commodore himself: Jason Stanford. Recording from a restaurant in NYC and the VanStanford’s kitchen in Austin, Frank, Elie and Jason talk about the most recent batch of primaries, the legal decision that forces #PresidentGoodBrainBestWords to unblock people on Twitter. This week’s voyage ends with a game of “yes or no” in which Jason and Frank do their best to make Elie blush after resurrecting the “Area Man” gag and deeming Elie as “adorable”. Jason said he had the initial idea for the podcast to be a lifestyle podcast and he finally got it and he’s recognized a new Upper Midwest fetish of Buttermilk Subs and Doms. Insider Guide: BOFA: According to Urban Dictionary, Bofa is a slang shortening of “both of,” and is generally followed by deez nuts, which means “testicles.” These words, when used in combination, are part of an online pranking meme. “Area Man” is an old gag, for example:

In a shorter episode than usual, Frank (recovering from being ill) & Elie (beset by allergies), talk about the American Embassy moving to Jerusalem and how only "top men" should be sent to preside over the occasion. They also have a lengthy chat about Negative Sentiment Override and figure out a way to link it to electoral politics. Somehow college football comes up not once, but twice and both times Frank craps on the Irish. Tshirts are here! Go to the Taking Ship website: www.takingship.com to order yours. They're on sale through the end of the month and can be delivered in person to #TruCon18. We're trying a new think and offering links to any articles we discuss, so here's the only one we mention this week: https://edition.cnn.com/2018/05/11/opinions/us-embassy-move-jerusalem-shapiro-opinion-intl/index.html?no-st=1526224913

ATTN SOUNDCLOUD listeners: we have moved to anchor.fm. Please be sure to update how you listen to us. Frank and Elie are joined for the second time by Ngiste Abebe, to talk about "Fuck it, we'll do it ourselves", the Democratic party's social mission, a deep dive into why conservatives lose and if/how the left may be owning itself. We are the owned, trolled and furious, but do we have to be? Please be sure to visit our new website: www.takingship.com and drop us a line about your t-shirt orders. Remember it's like whiskey: what size and how many.

ATTN SOUNDCLOUD listeners: we are in the process of moving to anchor.fm. Please be sure to update how you listen to us. With new intro music in hand, the crew of Salty Jason's Revenge invites the Corps of Discovery to visit our brand spanking new website: www.takingship.com In today's cruise through #DumbestTimelineAmerica, Frank Spring & Elie Jacobs talk North Korea, Iran deal, get in the weeds on Democratic politics and speculate on why the President of the United States may be trolling them. Finally, they tease the interview everyone's been waiting for. Please be sure to subscribe and rate us and visit the new website! www.takingship.com

WE HAVE NEW INTRO MUSIC!!! Joined by data guru Laila El Gohary, Frank & Elie FINALLY learn about data and politics. Long has the crew of "Salty Jason's Revenge" spoken about data, now they actually learn about it. This is THE episode you need to listen to if you want to stop bull sh!tting and actually know what you're talking about. Follow us at @takingship on Twitter (or @frankspring or @eliejacobs) and email us at takingship(at)gmail.com to tell us about your t-shirt desires.

Alone at sea for the first time in a few weeks, Frank and Elie dive straight into the reality that we're all just living the same Tuesday in #DumbestTimelineAmerica over and over. P90Pauly (aka Paul Ryan), takes his ball and goes home, DaveBro says new and dumb things related to AltCenterism and oh yea, impeachment. Take a listen and subscribe and rate us. We need that Casper mattress money!

Multimedia superstar Chris Frates (podcast co-host, SiriusXM host, former CNN, National Journal, Politico and more reporter) joins Frank and Elie to talk politics and media and they provide an update on the war with the sea. You really don't want to miss this episode.

David Roth (@david_j_roth) joins the crew of "Salty ____'s Revenge" to talk NFL, Trump, NCAA, coaches sartorial choices and more. This is one you want to listen to. Please subscribe and rate us on iTunes and follow us on Twitter at @TakingShip

Revisiting the scourge of Alt-Centerism, the crew of "Salty ____'s Revenge" issue a new public awareness campaign announcement in light of DaveBro's (aka David Brooks) column about college kids. After dispensing with his tweedy impertinence, Frank and Elie dive into getting folks to vote either through motivation or other means... Be sure to subscribe and rate us and follow us on Twitter @takingship.

Before an interview scratching at the depths of the ongoing #MeToo movement and women supporting the patriarchy, Frank & Elie do a quick review of how the California democratic party demonstrates that the Democrats may be no where. They also do a lightening quick review of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's legal troubles. Please be sure to subscribe and leave us a rating and a review.

In less and a half hour, Frank & Elie solve all the world's problems. Not really, but they do discuss the latest tragic gun massacre and come up with an enterprising idea to control guns. After that they explore the indictment Mueller just used to burn down Donald Trump's "hoax/witchhunt" argument and wrap the whole voyage up with a rant about the Olympics. Check it out and be sure to subscribe and rate us.

In the first episode of the 2nd year of this ship of fools on a cruise through #DumbestTimelineAmerica, Frank & Elie discuss the reality of parades, stumble over how a Trust Barometer is a barometer of trust (or at least one of them does) and that there is no truth anymore. The crew ends off realizing that science is bunk and all scientists must be high.

That the first anniversary of Frank Spring & Elie Jacobs shoving off and taking ship coincides with Groundhog Day makes perfect sense. Dumbest Timeline America is - if nothing else - the same idiocy repeating itself day in and day out. The crew touches on the infamous Nunes memo or how a smart friend referred to it a "failed high school term paper", the State of the Union and Harold Gowdy. But far more importantly, to celebrate this august occasion, Michele Wucker, the author of The Gray Rhino, comes aboard the good ship "___'s Revenge" to discuss her work and threatening colorful animals. You don't want to miss this one.

Frank & Elie argue the toss over the government shutdown, give Ron Johnson an award and imagine his alternative timelines, introduce a new feature, and crack skulls over sweet, sweet Nutella.

Commemorating the inauguration that George W Bush described as "some weird sh!t", Frank & Elie recount reasons to loath (and love) Donald Trump aka President GoodBrain BestWords. The crew also reissues a warning about altcenterism in light of Jeff Flake's floor speech, spends too much time talking about Tom Cotton before heading to Kentucky and then Great Britain. Come for the medicaid, stay for the mountain lion meat.

Sailing alone, Frank and Elie do their best to suss out Oprah's intentions. They compare what sh!thole countries their families Took Ship from and then turn to a lengthy - even intelligent - conversation about what Dems need to do in rural America to win again. They end today's voyage with talk about just what it'll take for the GOP to admit they are led by a monster and try to vanquish it.

Welcome to a new year in #DumbestTimelineAmerica! Frank & Elie kick off the new year with discussions on Michael Wolff's book, the chances of impeachment, and the (possible) end of the fraud of the Voter Fraud Commission. Then, the crew is joined by Amir Handjani to discuss what's happening in Iran and what may happen in the coming weeks, months, years.