Rachel & Sam Read A Story

It's simple. If you stop listening, we slowly fade away. The attentive ears of a grateful audience are all that breathed life into us in the first place, and now, you're thinking about NOT listening? .....oh no! This book, Please Open this Book, is similar. These poor adorable animals only exist within the pages of this book. But you MONSTERS callously insist on closing the cover. Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY?? Would a banana make it better? Good. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Poor Mr. Pip. If only people understood him more! Or if he were named after one of the less... thrown-away-y parts of a fruit! But I guess it's not all bad. He is owned by THE famous actor. So that's nice. Then he gets put on loan to what has to be the most well-funded science institute OF ALL TIME. Seriously, robots, rockets to the moon, and MORE robots. It's crazy! And all just to make Mr. Pip happy! Hmmm... I guess like isn't so bad for this monkey! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I have been requesting this book for some time. It is good book. Or rather, I should say it is a good part of an otherwise ALSO good book! The Stinky Cheese Man is one of those play-on fairy tales that so accurately captures the spirit of the original while simultaneously parodying it, that I just think we should just have this and move on with our lives. Rachel was convinced. And I will just say, for the record, that Blue Cheese is delicious. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We did not see this book coming. Seriously, out of left field it was. Anyway, there's this kid that comes to town. Mighty fine sheriff this youngin' turns out to be. Now, sure, you might be athinkin' that ain't no kid should be policin' the streets of such a rough a tumble town. Well, you'd be wrong. Addendum: WHO kisses a COW? Since when is that a THING?? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

I mean, sure, a lot of kids would want a puppy. Or a cat of some variety. They're quite popular after all. But, if your world is populated by baby monsters, then wouldn't you just want one of those adorable little fuzzballs for your very own? I dunno, probably! I Want a MONSTER! Is a super fun look at a kid who just wants a pet, but sometimes the pet you want is a little more than you can handle. The important thing is we all learned a valuable lesson about... wait... what was that? ... We DIDN'T learn a lesson? ... We didn't learn ANYTHING? ... Well, at least we had fun! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Man, if there's one thing I've always hated... it's bedtime. Sure, there all fun during the day. And it's so cute when they try and get there work done or ask for help, but the end of the day... UGG. I really don't like having to put my parents to bed. Luckily there's a book with some helpful suggestions about how to make the process a whole lot smoother. Because let me tell ya, I'm never upset to get those "putting parents to bed life hacks" on my facebook page. Give it a listen and maybe you'll learn a trick or two, um, too. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

MuAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! Oh, ahem, excuse me! I didn't see you sitting there. I was practicing my evil laugh. The teacher says that if I don't get it just right by next Tuesday, then I may have to stay back a grade. I wish I were a natural super-villain. Man, if this stuff came more easily, this'd be great! Like that Dylan kid. Now THERE is a kids who's going places in villainy. I can only dream of being that good. Now, if you'll excuse me. Erhmm. Ah ha ha ha! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

You ever wonder what your food does as soon as you close the refrigerator door? Well, worry no more because Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast is here to answer that question using delightful rhyme-scheme. So sit back and enjoy this world full of horrible mutilations and presumed cannibalism! At least, that was out take. But the real issue here, is one that I just thought of. If this is the world on the other side of the refrigerator door... how are any of the characters able to see? I'm pretty sure the light in the fridge turns off when I close the door, but... hmmmm... I better go check. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jungle Book is all sorts of popular right now. And it should be. It's great! But what if the kid raised by wolves actually lived with the rest of humanity? How endearing would it be then? Still quite endearing, it turns out! Steve, Raised by Wolves is about alternate universe Calvin, or rather what Calvin WISHES his life were like, but I might just be projecting. Or maybe I'm not. WHO KNOWS?? It's a book about a kid with odd parents, but at the end of the day, isn't every book about that? Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Jimmy Fallon, you scoundrel you, how are you gonna convince your kids to say "Dada" before "Mama"? Ah, I see, you chose to write  book where EVERY OTHER WORD IS DADA. *sigh* Look, I can understand the desperate need to defeat your wife. I really do. (Believe me) But I can't help but feel as though this is cheating. We get to learn about aminals (spelled correctly) and... emotions I guess? But the real question, Jimmy, is this: Did it work? No? Ah. Well... that's too bad. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  And we're back! Sam finally has his voice back so we are deLIGHTED to return to recording fun episodes of a fun show! And we're super excited that the first of those episodes is this one. 10,000 Dresses is an amazing book that stars a young trans girl. She dreams of all the different beautiful dresses she'd like to wear someday, but her family isn't willing to accept her for who she is. But in the end, she finds a friend who does and together they make the dresses together! There are very few books that focus on trans issues, even LESS that are designed to help build an understanding in children, and even FEWER that are truly this good. 10,000 Dresses is an important book, but most importantly, it is a good one too. Give it a listen and let us know what you think! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@

You know who has it rough? Day in and day out, they just get furiously rubbed, face-first, onto sheets of paper while slowly being worn down into a bare nubbin' before being tossed fully into the trash? Erasers. Also crayons. And y'know what? Today, these crayons decided to speak up for their rights! Because they deserve to have them! And man, some of these colors are, like, SUPER needy. Except for Green. Green is a solid bro. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Imagine the perfect pet. Wrong! Try again. STILL WRONG. One more time. Okay, fine, so you read the title. GOOD JOB, HAVE A COOKIE! Dinosaurs are awesome and also my favorite! We read a book about the practical uses for one, but let's face it. Dinosaurs don't have to be practical. They're dinosaurs! But it's nice that they're willing to help! And there's so many of them! Big ol' long-neck dinosaurs, the scaly flap-flap dinosaurs, weird butt-head dinosaurs, and widdle baby wumpkin dinosaurs. Science teaches us this! So enjoy a silly book about some silly dinosaurs WHICH ARE NOT COVERED IN FEATHERS AND ARE THEREFORE SCIENTIFICALLY INACCURATE THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD IN ME IS FURIOUS!! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

We all had imaginary friends when we were growing up. I personally don't remember mine, but have been told REPEATEDLY by my parents that such a friend existed. He was named Woody. And I do not remember him at all. And that's the real tragedy isn't it? Imaginary friends get a bit of a raw deal. They give us so much happiness, but eventually, we move on. Ah man, now all I can think about is Bing Bong. Poor Bing Bong... Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

  Collaboration. It's a real thing, isn't it? You have to work together with someone who you may not always agree with, and at the end of the day, no matter what, both your names are on the project. Rachel and I sure don't know anything about that! And here comes these two kids who have to tell a story, but they each want to tell it their own way. Good for them! But maybe it's a little... disjointed? Because these two stories jump all over each other in a way that is quintessentially kid-book. Enjoy! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Maaan, I wish MY mom had super powers. The only powers she has are the ability to tell when that the cookie I'm currently eating is "enough." But it's NOT enough Mom! It's never enough!! In this book we discover that certain mother's may OR MAY NOT possess certain... powers. It's all about the way those characters are perceived. And often having very little to do with reality. UNLESS THEY DO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH REALITY!! If you like super powers and speculation, you'll love this book. And we all love both of those things! So you'll enjoy the book! And now I have to go sneak another cookie while Mom isn't looking... Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Meta! Sometimes you're just going about your life and something WILD happens that pushes you in an entirely different place or story. For those whose lives are fictional, that can be WAY more intense! Imagine finding yourself in a world entirely different from your own. These kids sure do take being knocked out of their book in stride. It's impressive, really! Plus! Rachel and I talk about the Oscars because we are the MOST current people in the world. But seriously, go see The Big Short. It's amazing. Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Some of us are dog people. Some of us are cat people. Some of us are unholy-risen-from-their-long-forgotten-tomb cat people. This book is for those kind of people! Mummy Cat is a fun look at Egyptian hieroglyphics. It's also a truly tragic story of a cat who has waited for thousands and thousands of years to be reunited with his best friend. It is a lovely story and we enjoyed reading it! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

There are a lot of traditions surrounding the day-to-day machinations of a farm. Cows make milk. Chickens lay eggs. Pigs are delicious, and roosters wake the sun from its permanent cycle of sleep with the clarion call of their Cock-A-Doodle-Doo! Truly it is a magical world. So what happens when the rooster tires of tradition? Tired of the same STANDARD way of greeting the day? The answer is a bleak, cold, and everlasting night. So enjoy this kids' book! Hooray! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

There are few truths that exist throughout the universe. Few absolutes that can be stated to which there is no argument. This is one of them: Everyone. Loves. BACON. But, and there is always a but, do you know how far that passion carries this humble breakfast/anytime food? So far that it extends EVEN to the other breakfast foods. And other foods. All foods. This is a book about that love. About the love... of BACON! Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy! Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!