Nugatory Quest

Twenty years ago, the world was hit with an outbreak of unprecedented proportions.  The hapless population of the planet was forced to reduce, reuse and recycle like their very lives depended on it.    Now, on the eve of the anniversary of that terrible time, a new threat emerges. One that will determine once and for all the fate of mid-Spring pseudo holidays. Just when you thought it was safe to throw out that tetra-pack it's...   EARTH DAY II: THE RE-EARTHENING   Rated PG-13 for strong language and graphic composting   COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Des Guys 2. How Will I know? 3. Malboro 4. February 10, 2013 5. Rovers 6. Carl the Car Builder

Michael Caine. Michael Caine. Cain, Michael Caine. Michael Michael! Michael Caine!    *Michael Caine used Thundershock. It was super effective.*   COURSE MATERIALS:   1. Old Mitt 2. Coke Nail 3. A-Koo-Pew-Koo 4. Worst Giraffe Ever 5. Only the Good Die Hard 6. Rusha Housh

Taylor and Neil were going to include a fun description that elaborated on the amusing joke comprising this episode's title but have been advised by their lawyer that they probably shouldn't. Just, no. Stop. Quit while you're ahead boys. You don't know what you're talking about. Stop digging that hole. Seriously just stop.   COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Black Bread 2. Milwaukee 3. Weekend at Gorbies 4. Catchers & Hitters 5. Pottering 6. Aquamarine

Mild-mannered, law-abiding Mark Kaminsky is your run-of-the-mill small town sheriff who is also an ex-detective. One day, he's called back into action where he is shot a bunch by the Dad from That '70s Show. He has survived and been rebuilt as the smoothest, coolest and rawest robot cop you'll ever meet. Now he's on a one bot mission to clean up the streets from the filth he swore on his dead family or something to avenge. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars or whatever. Explosions!    COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Flag 2. Brother Huey 3. Lady Antebellum 4. Velocicontractor 5. Taste the Wax Tadpole 6. Rawbo Cop

In which Taylor and Neil realize there is a large gulf between their definition and pronunciations of the word gulf.    COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Dre M.D 2. Pop Artist 3. Santa Maria 4. Blue Whales 5. Mr. Nastic 6. WAR

Oh noe! Hoosawiddlepuppy? Yooaliddlepuppy! Yes yoo are!  Yes yoo are! Hoosabooboo! Hoosabooboo numnum?! Hoochaboochoohrrggllleeee!   COURSE MATERIALS 1. Yukon Devil Farmer 2. Daddy Fine Things 3. Antonio 4. Topsy 5. Kentucky Drift 6. 'Sappnin'

What? We enjoy the breeze...   COURSE MATERIALS:  1. Old Man Kid 2. Hey Bro 3. Fashion Mastermind 4. Craft Time 5. McShut Up 6. Vinajer

I've been ridin' these plains so longSingin' the same old songI know every town on the dirty side of Mississippi Where hustle's the name of the gameAnd nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rainThere's been a load of compromisin'On the road to my horizonBut I'm gonna be where the gold is shinin' on meLike a Fool's Gold CowboyRiding away on a horse from a botched bank jobLike a Fool's Gold CowboyGetting writs and letters from people I don't even knowAnd offers comin' over the wind COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Fridgetiquette 2. Denim-Spangly Shirt 3. Two Roosevelts 4. Fruit Wars 5. Mr Hockey (TM)6. Lizzie's Twist

We here at Nugatory Quest would like to apologize for totally bumming you out with this episode. It doesn't seem like something we should be capable of doing but, well, sometimes things happen. What looks to be a wacky trivia question might just turn out to be the most depressing thing you've read in a while. That said, we've kept the conversation largely unedited because it actually contains a few facts that, while rough, are pretty important. So again, sorry about this and please know that any laughter during that section is merely shock and not because we're the worst people. We'll get back to the japes next time!    For more information on these topics, please visit:   http://www.sidscanada.org/   http://www.cdnaids.ca/   COURSE MATERIALS 1. Tiny Tuba Taylor 2. Hooter! 3. Bachelor President 4. Travelling Walkmen 5. Dorito Blue Jays 6. Mr. Bat Man

Tonight on an ALL NEW Composin' with the Zart!  Zart takes to the streets with his talking wig and asks pedestrians what they think of Obama! The latest viral videos get smashed by Zart in our new segment, "Viral Videos?! Viral Videos Are Usually A Waste of Time Featuring Zart!" Guest Patrick Duffy is in the studio to discuss his dormant career and tell a funny story about ferrets! Musical guest Savage Garden appear, as if from nowhere! Plus An ALL NEW Top 10 List, featuring special guest star James Franco's Ghost!  And as always, Ludwig and the Classical Playas! Then stay tuned for an ALL NEW Late Night with BACH!!   COURSE MATERIALS 1. "Men's" Interests 2. Hair Age 3. Boney ABBA 4. Neigh 5. Go Long 6. DE-Bone

"Nugatory Quest is, and always will be, my favorite internet-based radio program."  -Albert Einstein COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Big Guy2. Torrent of Flesh3. Funny4. Pending Death5. Straight Garb6. Schlagen Lager

I reckon by now all y'all will have heard the news: Ol' Pert is pickin' up sticks and taking his skills to the Old World. I'll miss y'all somethin' fierce but them sweet jezebels over there need my particular skills. Naw don't you go blubbering all over these here parts; I'll still live on in yer hearts and on yer heads. My time spent these last fifty summers with y'all have been a blessing and I'm lookin' to bestow that blessing on each and every one of you souls I've had the pleasure of meetin'. I say, I do declare that my time here was well spent and will see y'all again on another turn on this wheel, lord willin'. -Excerpt from the last known public speech by local hairdressing legend Pert (Last Name Unknown), May 16, 1949, Atlanta, GA   COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Philanthrofist2. Wipes3. Large Salt Thing City Winter Olympics4. Geometric Sperm5. Pixel 'Stache6. Latin

It's totally a thing.COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Torch Run 2. The Worst Thing We've Ever Done 3. Baseball Owners 4. Stinking Spotted Weasel 5. Overtime6. Haggard the Horrible

In the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Four, two great minds shall meet in the realm of snowy desperation. The fires of one will ignite the ire of the other and a great battle will be fought over the correct method of topping circular dough with protein. The hostility will cease for a time, before it is renewed with vigor over where such sundries shall be consumed by man. Those caught in this wake shall dissolve in the horror and zestiness, as rivers of red drown all sense. The aftermath shall see the combatants alone, exhausted and wondering how they could have done 50 of these stupid things. COURSE MATERIALS 1. Suhkewt 2. Yolking Phoenix 3. Whatshisnoggini 4. Burnt Water 5. Pizza War 6. Woe-Baggin'

Hey! Do you like to hear two people talk about all formative experiences they had in Junior High gym class? I hope you do because Taylor and Neil are doing that. Again.  Yay.  COURSE MATERIALS 1. Shoulder Rolls 2. Strudel 3. Queen Slam '14 4. FitBitBit 5. Dunka-Dunk-Dunk 6. Arriba!

What happens when young, fresh piglets go hog-wild on Hawaiian spring break? Only the craziest, wettest and tastiest party on the planet! Watch this sweet meat let loose and expose their chops for the promise of fame, fortune and not being used as a pizza topping! Our cameras were there to capture it all - the parties - the drinks - the spits! See pork like you've never seen it before, in crispy HD and surround squeals! It's Boars Gone Wild! Over twenty minutes of the most juicy, tender cuts of raw and unfiltered mayhem! Yours to own through this special offer for only three easy payments of $19.99! Call now to order and you'll also receive Koala Mardi Gras - you won't believe what these crazy marsupials will do for beads!  COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Rudolph the Acne Nosed Teenager 2. Lavaface Part II 3. Julio Caesar 4. Baby Got Ham 5. Shuck 6. The Bends

Scut. COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Pineapple Mistakes 2. Titan 360 3. Rose-Velt 4. Jacked Rabbits 5. Absoslutely 6. Bowlingual

Meet Mikey! He's the new kid in class and  just doesn't fit in. The boys think he's weird! The girls think he's gross! The conservative politburo thinks he's radical! But little do they know that he's got a plan to become the most popular kid in school. With the help of his secret best friend Ronny, Mikey is taking the schoolyard by storm - from the school newspaper to getting rid of those ugly bike racks dividing the playground in half. But what Mikey doesn't realize is that all the fun antics and social reform in the world can't buy you happiness. It might just take a little attention from Maggie, the most severe girl in school, to make him see the light. Coming to theatres this Spring, it's Gorbachev like you've never seen him before! In eye-popping THREEEE DEEEE!  Starring Ed Helms as Mikey, Owen Wilson as Ronny, Sarah Silverman as Maggie, and Ken Jeong as Ping - the group's Paramount Leader...of laughter! Guest starring Ashton Kutcher as marionette Steve Jobs.  That...got out of hand quickly. 

Forward thinking. E. coliPhone is purposefully imagined. Meticulously considered. Precision infected.  It's not just a product of what's biologically possible. But what's biologically devastating. It's not just what's next. But what should be next. Disease. COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Desolation of Smog2. Ton Ton3. Frosted Tips4. Nade-Rage5. Earthquake6. #selfieYOLO

Alright, Danny we have to talk about what you did to my gorgeous, gold-encrusted French imported bidet. This is the best bidet in New York City. Danny, I know you can't appreciate how great this bidet is. This is the best bidet I've ever owned and the best bidet you'll ever see with your small, non-tan-lined eyes. Last year, the makers of this bidet did a quarter million dollars in sales and this year, they'll almost do the same. It's a great business and great bidet. I think you're really going to love it. So stop using it to take revenge poops in or you're fired. COURSE MATERIALS: 1. Theory Themed 2. Destany 3. Fugio Cent 4. The Sads 5. The Revenge 6. Souvenir Hunters