The Chick Whisperer Podcast

David DeAngelo famously said, 'Attraction isn't a choice.' But what then IS it? The first notion that comes to mind is that it has to do with looking good. 'Attractive' is synonymous with 'beautiful' or perhaps 'sexy' for many people. But the true connotation of the word is more, well...magnetic, isn't it? In this episode my co-host Kimberly Holmes and I delve into the intricacies of attraction. As you may have already guessed, there are many facets to it, most of which go way beyond the surface of it all. Indeed, if you want to achieve true connection with a significant someone, it's all about depth rather than superficiality. So what then are those deeper aspects of attraction? How do we recognize them...and explore them? How do we get past swiping on pictures and vapid profile narratives to recognize true potential for real attraction? How do we cultivate it once we find it? And for sure, how can we ourselves be as attractive all-around as we can possibly be? It's a huge, important topic that ironically is

My co-host Shawn Harper was drafted by the Los Angeles Rams and went on to play several years in the NFL and NFL Europe. Since then, he has spent years empowering men to WIN in all areas of life. That's fantastic, after all...just about the worst insult a man can endure is being called a 'loser', right? But here's where it gets super intriguing. Shawn believes there is a massive and very real difference between truly winning and what is commonly referred to as 'success'. And if you're thinking that success is a cleaner, friendlier term because it can exist in an abundance mentality rather than necessarily involving victory at the expense of someone else, you're in for the first of many surprises in this action-packed episode. I'll tell you, after what we've all been through this past year with COVID, wouldn't we all love to see the triumphant return of sweet victory in our lives? Well, Shawn has practical steps. First among those involves the straight-up truth that victims by definition cannot emerge victorio

It may sound like we're opening a can of worms, and we are. But we're going there anyway. This is the show where we finally cover the hot-button issue of sexuality in the workplace. It took a while, but I found the perfect guest to help me hit it with a big, heavy hammer. Bobbi Bidochka hails from Montreal and is the author of Sexual Intelligence In Business. There's a lot to like about Bobbi's outlook on life. First of all, even though she's immersed in gender studies on a daily basis, she detests the current culture of man bashing. She's also as honest as it gets when it comes to fully acknowledging that men and women are going to be attracted to each other at work, possibly date, and maybe even screw in the boss' office after hours. So how does she reconcile all of that with the typical advice about 'the pen and the company ink'? What do women usually have figured out about those HR sexual harassment seminars that most men don't? Can you avoid sexual harassment scandals without squashing all opportunities

My guest today is world famous for being the only hacker ever to wiretap both the secret service and the FBI. These days he's a 'white hat' security expert, and he's here to disclose valuable ways you can protect yourself from cybercrime and other online scams, especially the ones so common to online dating site and app users. Now listen up, we all realize you know better than to answer a fake Amazon email with all of your personal information, so we're certainly not going to insult your intelligence. What you will hear on this show, however, is a deep dive into the newest and latest swindles recently uncovered in the online world, including the most chilling ones that have been scaring men to death--and sometimes bringing their lives to ruins--all over the world. First off, you'll find out from the master himself how utterly simple certain hacking methods can be, involving little, if any, actual computer coding skills. Why is it so many guys get scammed in ways that would be obvious to nearly everyone else?

Like me, Robbie Kramer has been teaching men about how to get better with women since way back in the pickup era. But nowadays, he is in a great relationship with a high-quality woman, who he happened to meet overseas. Indeed, Robbie says his skills with women really picked up when he 'took his game on the road'. Yes...this episode is all about how to be a single man who achieves global dating domination and eventually finds love abroad. We kick things off, however, with fun stories from the PUA era punctuated by some key points that differentiate men who do well with women from those who continuously struggle. After that, we talk about the difference between 'home game' and 'away game', including language barriers, cultural differences and a whole lot more. Is your accent helping or hurting you with women in other countries? What's up with all of those creepy 'sex tourist' guys? What are some fast and easy ways to authentically attract women in other countries? You'll also discover Robbie's genius hack for e

My guest this week is a private investigator. Sure, countless TV shows and movies have romanticized his profession, but what is it really about? After years in law enforcement and working for the DEA, Larry Forletta has become a wise and sensible voice on how to maintain personal safety and security as a man. Although it thankfully doesn't happen often, life can throw sudden challenges at us that elicit a 'fight or flight' response. How do you know which option to take? And if it's time to fight, how can you be better prepared for action on a split-second's notice? What if firearms are involved? Also, what are the more subtle but mission-critical ways we as men need to keep our heads up so as to maintain a 'safe perimeter', not only for ourselves, but also for our loved ones? You'll discover some down-to-earth and sensible advice that will transform your sense of personal security immediately, along with some truly ninja tips discovered over the course of Larry's full career in law enforcement and the DEA. Ho

The 'dance of attraction' is a common theme. So how are dancing and attraction integrally related, anyway? It's important to get down to the bottom of this because women LOVE dancing, but most of us as men not so much. Why is that? Well, given how much we are missing out on by being 'wallflowers', I needed the right expert co-host for this all-important discussion. My returning guest Jennifer Rhodes is not only a dance enthusiast, she's a world traveler, having recently spent time enjoying the Tango culture of Argentina. She has great stories to tell as she articulates exactly what it is about dancing that's so seductive, and why you as a man should absolutely go for it. So how much allure does a man have who will dance with women? What is it about dancing in particular that wakes up and ignites a woman's feminine nature? Is it as powerfully attractive as, say, being funny or playing the guitar? Do women really 'dance like nobody is watching'? And once and for all...is dancing really a metaphor for sex? Shoul

It seems like we've gotten to the point nowadays where it's almost dangerous to disagree with someone, especially online. Despite more access to information than ever before, people in general decide what they believe, find their 'tribe' and conclude everyone else is just straight-up wrong. If you find yourself on the other side of the opinion spectrum, you're at best excluded from the conversation, and at worst insulted or even 'canceled' altogether. As a result, more and more people are consorting only with like-minded folks and keeping quiet around everyone else. Obviously, this has created a deeply divisive social environment that tests the boundaries of free speech itself. The very first amendment to The Constitution is about free speech for good reason, so we've got to do something about the current state of communications between fellow citizens...right? I mean, on top of all the idealistic reasons why we should rediscover how to handle our differences, there's the purely logistical matter of it being

His name is Dr. Peter McGraw, and he's indeed quick on the draw. He has to be, considering he's quite literally a professor specializing in the psychology of humor, and the director of the Humor Research Lab (aka HuRL) at University of Colorado at Boulder. By now we all know how making women laugh is a legitmate superpower when it comes to charming and attracting them. And yes, you can get the job done by helping women have fun, but there's something about a man who knows how to craft legit humor that absolutely mesmerizes them. Yet, most of us can count on one hand the number of men we know who have developed such a skill and have incorporated it to the level of 'unconscious competence'. Why is that? Well, for starters, the idea of what 'funny' really is and how it works is completely esoteric to most people. It's as if you either get it or you don't. Well, upon listening to this remarkably practical (and yes, funny) episode, the joke will no longer be on you. Listen as Peter and I equip you with real-world

Over the past year, COVID has wrought widespread social isolation and loneliness. We've sheltered in place and looked to social media and dating apps for potential connection with others. But that's at best an electronic substitute for real, human interaction, of course. Pete Bombaci is a human connection expert and head of the GenWell Project, a global connection movement based in Toronto. His mission is to inspire us to take action toward more and better face-to-face communication. Pete claims that real, live human connection is at least as important to our overall health as eating right or going to the gym. Yet, we as men tend to blow off our need for human interaction, as if we're too macho for that sort of thing. Well, it's time to get real with ourselves, as well as with the women who want so much for us to be there and present for them. Along the way, we discuss why people in big cities often feel most isolated, the sneaky and unexpected effects of COVID social isolation, and the surprising way that le

As goes the bedroom, so goes the bedroom...at least that's what my guest on this episode believes. Delora Guignon is the founder of Mindsex Mastery, and she says the very same sexual energy that propels the women in your life to multiple orgasms is what causes certain men to be wildly successful financially and reach the pinnacle of their career. In this fast-paced and often riotously entertaining episode, you'll discover how both 'get rich quick' and 'get laid quick' usually don't work, and why the pickup artist movement had such a hard time figuring that out. Meanwhile, what exactly does this all-conquering sexual energy look like? What are the practical features of it? Do all those angry political people on Twitter just need to get laid? Why is it Delora can tell who's having great sex and who isn't just by asking them three questions? Contrary to popular belief, why are so many rich guys so lonely? How does the compliance vs. willingness factor enter into all of this? And what are the practical steps to m

The American Dream is often thought of as being all about achieving, acquiring and outperforming. Bigger, faster, better, more, more more. Indeed, when John D. Rockefeller was once asked how much money is enough, his answer was, 'just a little more'. My guest this time is Robert Althuis, author of Never Enoughitis, who has long since recognized how all of this is really just one big psychological trap. His mission is to redirect us from the treadmill of endless expectations regarding achievement and acquisitions and on to something much more fulfilling. Now, it may be true that you may have already risen above the need for '80s style 'conspicuous consumption' or keeping up with the Joneses. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Many of us grew up with parents who pushed us to succeed, and 2nd place or a B+ wasn't an option. Meanwhile, in the midst of the ratrace, we never actually get to do what we really want. We grow up never satisfied, even though we keep trying harder and harder. Are we doomed to this c

Have you noticed how edgy and snippy people in general have been lately? There has been a lot of fear and turmoil over the past nine months or so, culminating in a particularly rough couple of weeks, and it has begun to wear on even the most stoic among us as men. So what in the world are we to do about that? And what if we found ourselves angry way too often even before 2020 descended upon us? Well, my guest Dr. Ron Potter-Efron is in my estimation the world's foremost expert on the topic of anger management. He claims anger is one of the top reasons why men go to a therapist, in stark contrast to the typical reasons why women do. It's no joke how many men seem to go through life fuming and snarling over just about any and everything that happens, even if it's something minor. We instinctively know such a mental state is intrinsically unattractive to women, yet we slip into fury and lose our temper anyway. What's up with that? And what's the difference between righteous indignation and the kind of anger that

Co-Host Zach Schleien (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/filteroff) My guest is the founder of an innovative new app that enables video speed dating. That means there's nobody better to join me for an all-important conversation on how to get past the dating frustrations of 2020 and on to the bold new world of 2021. In proper fashion, we kick it all off with a post mortem on 2020 dating and relating, including some eyebrow raising opinions with regard to what people out there have really been thinking and doing for the last year. But then it's on to the here and now. Will COVID continue to loom large well into this year? Will the vaccine change anything? Whether or not that's the case, will people's attitudes (and actions) change regardless? What is the idea behind video speed dating, and how is it different and more effective than the much-maligned OG version? Are there really benefits of meeting women over video as opposed to real-life, or is that just an excuse? Does this new paradigm stand any chance of repla

Well, two podcasts dropping on two holidays in a row means it's a moral imperative to have Emily back on again, especially since 2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon?

Last week on this very show I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love d

I told Emily I was having the guy from Origin on my show, and she responded, 'War Engine? What's that?' Well, I got someone who is arguably just as cool. I'm joined by none other than Pete Roberts, host of the Hands and Daylight podcast and leader of the pack over at Origin. What you'll notice first about Pete is he's an all-around good dude who is clearly proud to be a man and walks the walk. We tackle the subject of everyday masculinity, meaning the little things we as men do--or should be doing--on a consistent basis. For starters, discover the mindset that mature, evolved men know is foundational to manhood, yet which young men almost always exhibit the exact opposite of...even as they think they're more macho by doing so. Next, how does a man handle daily interactions with both women AND other men, including over social media? Then I share my personal lesson from a Navy SEAL on how to be more of a man in the most subtle but powerful of ways. Is it true that if you don't have the capacity to be violent, y

In the last episode we talked in depth about the concept of self-awareness. This time, we turn our attention to the idea of self-worth. Obviously, this is all about how much value we assign to ourselves and is closely tied to self-respect. My guest is Kamini Wood, who as a mother of five knows the struggle is real to find time in life for self-ANYTHING. Nevertheless, she has given tons of thought to this topic and has arrived at the conclusion that most of us basically do the equivalent of outsourcing our self-worth. So what does that even MEAN, exactly? What other areas of self-evaluation and reflection is it tied to? How do particularly smart and/or analytical guys struggle? What can we do to guard against feeling like a Lone Ranger in the midst of all of this self-worth stuff? And what is the right way and the wrong way to involve others, lest we indeed not outsource our own self-worth? Why do men struggle so much with 'strong vulnerability', therefore suffering through tough patches that could have been a

My guest is Marine Corps Lt. Colonel Ann Bernard, who as head of 365 Firsts currently advocates for getting out of our infamous comfort/familiarity zones to try new and exciting adventures. Interestingly enough, she says much of our wherewithal in that regard comes from self-awareness. Now, I fully realize 'self-awareness' is one of those terms that may mean different things to different people, but in this episode you're in for one of the clearest and most direct descriptions of it ever. In addition to finding out the practical elements of it, you'll discover the symptoms of lacking self-awareness...and how a scary amount of guys don't even realize they do (which makes sense, if you think about it). So then, is this all related to identity, maturity and some of the other concepts we talk about frequently around here or is it something else completely? Can you actually have too much self-awareness? I mean, wouldn't that lead to self-consciousness (which is different!) and hyper-analysis issues? And on that no

When you get right down to it, if you're on a team your coaches and your cheerleaders have something important in common. They're both on your side, and they both want you to win. So it's really no wonder that a former Phoenix Suns cheerleader like my co-host Bee Evans would go on to become a professional coach. More specifically, Bee is a resilience coach, and one of her biggest soapboxes is 'tearing out the tags'. What's up with the human tendency to slap a label on everything and everyone? I mean, do face-value assertions and preconceived notions really serve the greater good? You can imagine the sneaky effect this kind of psychology has wrought upon relationships between men and women, let alone everyone else. Well, this episode's discussion starts with a disarming look at how Bee views her time with the Phoenix Suns nowadays compared to how she did in the moment, and it'll be no surprise that it has plenty to do with public stereotype versus objective reality. That leads to an eye-opening discussion of h