The Chick Whisperer Podcast

My guest Rob Kowalski grew up without a dad, and ended up becoming a male stripper in his early adult years. Finally, after leading a rambunctious life of sex and debauchery with countless women, he had a faith conversion experience which inspired him to stop having sex outside the bonds of holy matrimony. Now in his mid-forties, Rob is still unmarried...and yes, he's still not having sex. In most faith based settings, both teens and adults are simply told to stay away from sex until marriage, without really being told why. But in this episode, you'll hear Rob's resolute, logical case for abstention until marriage, and why even masturbation is out of bounds. Are people getting the timing of marriage all wrong vis-a-vis modern postponement of adulthood? And how does the virtue of delayed gratification enter into all of this? And is sex outside of marriage inherently disrespectful, if not downright abusive to women because they're wired differently? What if the big disconnect really is that we as men are still

When my co-host Jennifer Dougherty was in the business world, she started to feel a bit burned out. What did she do to pull herself out of that conundrum and change her mindset? Well, it all led to her to write a book on how she beat burnout and got focused. How can you too genuinely come to grips with what your dreams really are, and why you're dreaming them? And what if you're already doing that which you genuinely dreamed of doing, and yet are still feeling crispy around the edges? How does that mess with your productivity, let alone your mindset? How do talent, passion, strategy and hard work intersect to contribute to dream realization? What are the ironic bad feelings people can experience even after apparently accomplishing what they dreamed of doing? Are dreams overrated, given how people tend to feel once they've fulfilled them? Is it unreasonable and possibly even counter-productive to encourage our kids to dream big? And what of the idea that we often don't even realize what we wanted all along unt

You guys tend to love those shows where we do a deep dive into a particularly intelligent realm of thought and seek out truly profound breakthroughs. When I happened across a piece by my long-time Danish friend Michael Lassen on virtuous patience vs. simply waiting around, I instinctively knew it was a moral imperative as men to have him on the show. So for starters, what's the difference between accepting and embracing a certain situation? Is waiting really a virtue? And what's the concrete difference between waiting and patience? Further, is patience meant to be aimed at achieving perfection, or is that counter-productive? How patient should you be when the woman you want is dating another guy who is no good for her? Discover Michael's three-faceted approach to gaining personal power, regardless of the outcome of any particular situation. Then, find out what my own personal interaction with Navy SEALs has revealed about how they are trained to harness personal power in the exact same way. Also, if patience

We never want to let things get too straight-laced around here, so for a change of pace I 'talk smack' this episode with my new friend Jillian Keenan, who is an international journalist and spanking expert. So the obvious first question is how does one become a spanking expert to begin with? Jillian's surprising answer sets the tone for the rest of the show, beginning with why women LOVE to be spanked during sex, and how spanking takes on profound sexual importance for some. Next, discover the mindblowing physiology behind why women find spanking sexually pleasurable. What is the difference between spanking as a kink vs. as a fetish? Why is it that spanking is so closely tied to playful flirtation? And of course, I'd be in for a 'red ass' if I didn't acknowledge how the classic representations of spanking in film didn't factor into all this. Is scolding--or even downright disciplinary shame--a part of what makes spanking so sexy? What goes on at organized 'spanking parties'? What is a 'service switch'? And ho

My new friend and fellow 'Balti-moron' Dave Elliot talks about relationships between men and women in a visceral, down-to-earth manner that I'm sure you're going to appreciate. Among his numerous interesting ideas is his brilliant A.L.L.W.A.Y.S. framework for predicting whether or not a relationship is built to last. After all, you and your woman want to always stay together, but there are also all sorts of ways to stay together. So first off, how is it that some people can date for literally years, but their marriage is wrecked within just a few months of saying 'I do'? And on the other hand, what are those seven major factors that genuinely and accurately determine whether or not a couple will defy the divorce rate odds and be happy together for decades? Dave and I talk clearly and candidly about what it takes. This episode is all about knowing your own values and avoiding the fear of going deep with a woman you've just met only to encounter bitter disappointment...and instead boldly seeking out and finding

This episode may come off as a bit weird up front, as it's the first show we've ever published to BOTH The Mountain Top and X & Y On The Fly feeds. But hey...we figured this is a timely conversation everyone can and should have, and also (more obviously) we're co-hosting this one together. So on with it... In this fast-paced show we talk candidly--and at times controversially--about how dating, relating and even socializing itself have changed in the last decade, and how we ourselves control what the next decade holds. What about online dating, apps and social media? Shouldn't it be easier than ever for men and women to meet, attract each other and build relationships? But instead, men and women appear to have lost touch with how to relate to each other. It's as if we as a human race have gotten better than ever at mere social manipulation, and place a higher value on that than real connection. As a result, are people justified in questioning the value of even pursuing a relationship nowadays? Have people

A blast from the past has resurfaced, and it's none other than my long-time friend and frequent oldskool David D. co-collaborator Will H., aka 'Big Will'. Together, he and I are like two examples of the 'old bull' from ye olde 'two bulls on the hill' joke. We were sure to poke a lot of fun at ourselves and tell embarrassing stories in this episode, and we sincerely trust that you young bulls out there will be fully equipped to 'walk down there and get 'em all' after you're finished listening. And rest assured, whatever age you are you're going to get lots of laughs out of this show. Will H. is known for his humorous way of bringing logical fact to light, and we've never had a dull moment recording together. So of course, we fully address why younger women tend to love older men so much...and better yet, how younger guys can bridge the gap. What are the most infamous fashion faux pas committed by men...along with the social ones that basically act as chick repellent? How is it that older guys can possibly be m

My co-host and returning guest Myke Macapinlac began his career as a techie guy in the IT world. Like many men in such a position, he often felt there was a 'glass wall' separating him from others socially. Yet, it's often as if techie guys feel if they only work harder, make more money and get that coveted promotion, then attracting women--and their social life in general--will take care of itself. Unfortunately, that simply isn't the case for most. So why do left-brained guys in particular struggle so much socially? What are the three major traits that make someone more sociable--or even likable--to begin with? What was it about early pickup advice that appealed to techie guys so much? How can you overcome crippling 'analysis paralysis', and how come plenty of other guys don't seem to be affected by it in the least? What does it really mean to 'be inside your head' as opposed to 'in your body'? And hey, what happens when we meet a woman who is a left-brained, technical type? Finally, what else can left-brai

Given how central this topic has historically been to the world of men's dating advice, it's hard to believe we've never done a show on it until now. But given how so many men struggle when talking to women, the idea of telling an actual end-to-end story seems overwhelming. Enter my guest co-host, Paul Smith, who has written several books on storytelling, including his latest 'The 10 Stories Great Leaders Tell'. To kick things off, we settle any confusion between what makes for a truly engaging story compared to a 'cool story, bro'. What is the proper role of humor in storytelling, and how important is it? On the other hand, what is the absolute most crucial prerequisite skill for effective storytelling? What are the three elements of a good, solid story? What are the eight questions you have to ask yourself when constructing a storyline? What does it take to craft meaningful stories for specific situations rather than telling the same few stories over and over? What is the difference between inductive vs. de

You asked for this, and it's long overdue... I can't count how many guys over the years have asked me why women LOVE romance novels like 50 Shades Of Grey so much. Well, I've invited popular romance novel author Porscha Sterling on as my co-host to break down exactly why women get so turned on by this genre. What's more, we talk about all of the different tips we as men can glean from romance novels to attract and delight women just like the central characters in the books do. So how about it, then...why do women prefer romance novels over the visceral visual stimulation of porn (or do they)? And do women really want the 'bad boy' persona in real life quite the same way they seem to desire it in the novels? How does all of this alpha imagery reconcile with all of the conflicting messages on masculinity that we see in the media? I mean, could it be true that what women SAY they want compared to what they REALLY want could be at odds, or is it all just a political power play? OR...is something even deeper and m

So many of us as men are terrified of fatherhood to begin with. But if and when the time comes, we almost invariably hope for a son...you know, a "chip off the old block". But every man who fathers a little girl immediately realizes that daughters are equally amazing in their own unique and wonderful ways. But for many men, that signals somewhat of a transformation of how they view women in general. This is all-important because of the tremendous influence we as fathers have on our daughters (and also on our sons, of course), regardless of what some naysayers may want us to believe. Well, my guest is NLP coach Mark Sing, who is the perfect co-host for this episode because he is the proud new dad of a three-month old little girl. His perspective, combined with that of a grizzled fatherhood vet like me makes for one rambunctious show. Get ready for an honest, down-to-earth discussion about the intricacies of being a man who not only loves women, but loves certain women particularly dearly. Is your role as a pro

The motto of the Boy Scouts of America is 'be prepared'. Unfortunately, scouting isn't much of a thing anymore compared to what it used to be. As a result, a whole lot of us as men aren't really, um...prepared anymore. If you think about it, it's easy to feel as if we don't have to be. There are automatic transmissions, wrinkle-free shirts and oil change places out there. But...when that time presents itself where it's time to be a hero in a certain small way--and we just can't--it really sucks. It kicks you in your manhood. Well, my guest Jonathan Catherman has always loathed that feeling, which led him to writing a whole manual for men on how to be ready for 100 different situations that all men should be prepared for. If you're looking for a fast-action episode that's chock full of practical knowledge, then you just found it, Bubba. Now, obviously being prepared for the small things in life makes us tons more confident when the larger issues present themselves, but the impact our preparedness has on our ab

Most of you probably know my guest co-host as David DeAngelo, one of the founding fathers of the modern men's dating advice movement. But for the past decade or so Eben Pagan has been on a journey of personal evolution, leading him to a mission of inspiring you to turn your passions into both a living AND and legacy. Indeed, many of us as men often wonder aloud what our true gifts even are, let alone feeling any passion toward them. So then, how DO we figure out how we're going to leave a positive mark on the world? OH SCREW IT...we both knew about ten minutes into this thing it was time to throw away the script and go old-school talking David D. stuff. That's what you want, and that's what we gave you. And baby, does this show deliver. The segue starts with the ironic reality of how the David D. mystique happened, especially given the man Eben has become and what he is teaching nowadays. But as fun as the story of David D.'s early days are, stay tuned for perhaps the most shocking statement Eben could possib

As often as this topic comes up, I firmly believe a large percentage of us as guys still don't fully grasp how important this subject is to women. My guest, intimacy coach Allana Pratt would go so far as to call it a dealbreaker. And wouldn't you know it...it all starts with communication, which Allana compares to a figure eight. How can being the 'hero of small things' make a major difference? How can you reconcile a woman's desire for a dominant decision-maker with our own genuine desire not to come off as a controlling jerk? And what does it take on both your best and worst days to be a rock of consistency for her? How does relaxing and resting into a woman's feminine nature actually cause her to feel safer, loving and respecting you more than ever before? And how do both you AND she gain from that relational state? While we're at it, we explain the specific kind of leadership from a man that makes a woman want to do anything for us. And hey...what DO women want, anyway? How can we make sure we're a safe,

As we all know, 'be yourself' is the lamest, most generic advice ever. But have you ever stopped to think why we as men would ever stop representing our true selves to begin with? Well, the title of this episode is a strong hint as to why, and my co-host is the man to explain what's up with that. Indeed, Clovis Colley isn't only a certified hypnotherapist in-house here at X & Y Communications, he's been around the block a few times. So what are guilt and shame all about anyway? And what useful purpose do they serve, if any? How do people try to shame us, or even project their own shame onto us? How has the 'toxic masculinity' narrative increased shame, even if under the guise of hoping to reduce it? What does it mean to 'take ourselves too seriously', and how do we pile on the pressure, shame and guilt when we do so? How can you tell when someone is trying to shame you for their own pathetic reasons, read them like a cheap paperback and refuse to let them affect you? How does setting and maintaining bound

When I first started dating my wife Emily, she brought a book with her containing a brilliant array of questions to help us get to know each other. Even though that may sound intimidating on the surface, it really turned out to be a lot of fun and the book genuinely functioned as advertised. A few weeks ago that book came up in conversation, and it occurred to me to find the author, Laurie Seale, and have her on as a guest. It turns out she is a regular 'Jaqueline Of All Trades'...and as smart, charming and fascinating as you would expect from someone who wrote such a book. In this episode we discuss the trials and tribulations men and women have nowadays when creating conversation with each other, along with some genius ways to kick off first date communication in a positive way. Laurie talks about the value of knowing yourself before seeking to know someone else, along with how to break the ice on such topics as passion, purpose, lifestyle, past relationships, basic compatibility and spirituality. She then

My guest co-host, author Acamea Deadwiler, is all about breaking pre-conceived notions. In her book Single That!, she writes words of encouragement and clarity to single women. But...I couldn’t help but recognize the immense value to us as men of gaining insight into her list of myths, especially since Acamea is so level-headed, positive and easy-going in her approach to men and women finding love together. So how about it, then? If a woman is still single in, say, her thirties, does that mean there's something wrong with her? What about women who think something is wrong with YOU because you’re still single? Do women have unrealistic expectations nowadays...both before AND after they’re married? Are single women just too busy? Are they lonely 'spinsters'? Or is the opposite true...that they're 'female players'? Are most women 'golddiggers' at heart, intending to find a man who will pay their way in life? And why do all single women seem to ask, 'What are you looking for?' before we’ve even met them yet? Talk

Decades ago the Kinsey Institute infamously attempted to define the parameters of human sexual thought and behavior. Over the years books such as My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday have elaborated upon just how dirty the human mind can get. But it wasn't until Internet-driven research came along that we really found out what human beings think and do in private anonymity. This bold insight comes to you in large part courtesy of my guest, neuroscientist Dr. Ogi Ogas, along with his fellow researchers. So how did Ogi compile all of his research, and how can he know it's accurate? How did it differ from other scientists' expectations? What's up with women's 'rape fantasies', and how does what goes on in their romance novels differ from what happens in online porn? What other dark emotions are most prevalent in human sexual fantasies...and how are they often weirdly in conflict with each other? What is the one sexual fantasy we all seem to secretly have in common, regardless of our gender or sexual orientation? And

Everyone is familiar with the term. But what exactly IS a 'friends with benefits' relationship? Who gets into relationships like that, and what can be expected from it? And how is it different than having a 'sex buddy'? Is it about whether I'm willing to be seen in public with her or not...or introduce her to my friends? As you can see, this is a sticky topic right from the get-go. Well, my long-time friend and fellow dating coach Susan Winter is never shy about tackling even the friskiest subjects, so I invited her back to the show for this fun-filled discussion. For starters, what REALLY causes two people to forge a FWB arrangement? How accurate is the movie portrayal of FWB in the eponymously-named movie with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis? What other interesting revelations can be arrived at from watching that film? And when FWB relationships happen in real life, is there really any chance that deeper feelings won't develop? How is it that one-night stands can often be drama-free, but FWB arrangements a

Emily and I have been together for nearly fourteen years, and we agree on just about everything...at least fundamentally. That's a big part of what makes our relationship wonderful. But that doesn't mean we don't have our prickly moments. Therefore, we figured we'd record an episode where we break down what exactly constitutes 'healthy' disagreement as opposed to something twisted and dysfunctional. So how do people end up in a relationship with someone they disagree with even on the baseline stuff? Believe it or not, we can think of at least two ways that happens...and all too often. If a woman is driving you nuts, can you change her? Can she change YOU? If you give in to your partner's preferences or opinions, is that 'compromising' your relationship...or giving your power away? Do the two of you even have to have the same interests up front at all? Certain 'relationship gurus' are on record saying it's healthy for couples to fight. On the other hand, is it healthy never to disagree at all? Well, we have a