Table Reads

With the news somehow mistaking the TW left in criminal’s face’s by Bruces Signet Ring for a Bat, the decidedly un-bat-like vigilante is dubbed The Bat-Man! Donning his familiar…um…catcher’s mask… Bruce finally becomes the dark avenger of the night we’ve been waiting for. Sort of. Ish.He fights his way up the criminal ladder, seeking out the “general” of crime…Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsAlso: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on T

Inspired by the televised heroics of Detective Gordon, Bruce the scrapyard worker set off to do battle with crime, by turning himself into a sort of crime honeypot! For the better part of an evening, he fights crime by beating up everyone that tries to mug him… until he bites off more than he can chew! A stunning defeat teaches Bruce that if he is truly going to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, he’s going to need more resources… Namely, the local library! While all this is going on, we get still more examples of the GCPD’s corruption, which seems to be what a 4th grader thinks corruption is… And Jim Gordon is NOT having it!Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsAlso: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads a

It’s time for Batman’s origin again. So, of course we’re going to go over the well-worn tale of Bruce Wayne being taken in by Sanford and Son and spending 15 years living in a scrapyard directly across the street from where his parents were murdered. Wait, what?We also meet Jim Gordon, the only stand-up cop in Gotham who apparently gets home from work and struggles with whether to blow his brains out. EVERY NIGHT. With his wife IN THE NEXT ROOM. Join us as we experience Frank Miller’s slope from comics great to the hard-boiled, alt-right misogyny machine that he would eventually become. N this case, guided by the vision of extraordinary filmmaker Darren Aronofsky, who was just 15 years early on this concept. Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsAlso: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access

It’s the stunning (and overdue) conclusion to John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings! It’s been a thrilling and utterly weird 11 episodes, but we finally reach the conclusion of the greatest saga never filmed!Sam and Frodo reach Mount Doom while war rages at the Black Gate... though that war seems mostly concerned with protecting a Frodo effigy, for some reason. Unlike the Peter Jackson trilogy, which has basically an entire normal-length movie left to go after the good guys win, this one wraps up ALARMINGLY quickly, to the point where your head is left spinning, wondering if there was a time jump you missed!Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsAlso: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love y

It’s the conclusion of the Battle of the Pellenor Fields, and Gondor has a new king! You’ll never guess who. Well, you might. After a full episode away from them, we also re-join Sam and Frodo and see what they’re up to… HINT: They’re not currently having an easy time. This is an action-packed episode that sees the conclusion of one major battle and the start of another, with the fate of Middle Earth in the balance! Don’t Miss it!Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsAlso: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tabl

Who wants some Battle of the Pellenor Fields? I hope it’s you, because that’s what this whole episode is! There’s death, and drama, and a new way to use horses! Do you like giant snakes? We’ve got that, too! Going into part 9 of a script is completely unprecedented for us, but it somehow keeps being fun! Join us and find out what craziness John Boorman would have brought to the great battle at Minas Tirith!Also: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Like this podcast? Hate it? Either way, give us a review on your platform of choice! Here's an easy link to help: https://ratethispodcast.com/tablereadsOur episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and su

Sam and Frodo finally make it to Mordor, and we get the Battle of Minas Tirith! What an action-packed episode! Hell, there’s even a montage! And an army of the dead (guys, Jeff is so happy about that)!We also learn that the defense of Minas Tirith is contingent upon treadmills! No, really, treadmills are VITAL to the survival of Gondor’s capital city… I guess all those soldiers are wearing Lulu Lemon under their armor, as well.Middle-Earth Spin Class aside, things really heat up in this episode, so you’re not gonna want to miss it!In other news: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, y

As Frodo and Sam continue with Gollum toward Mordor, we’re reminded that in 1970, Gollum would have just been an actor in makeup. Stop reading this, close your eyes, and just picture an actor dressed as Gollum. In the movie makeup of 1970. Honestly, how great is that??Meanwhile, things continue pretty much in line with what audiences will be familiar with from the books and movies… Merry and Pippin discover Gandalf the white, then travel to Rohan to free King Theoden from the influence of Wormtongue, while Aragorn and crew meet up and ride with Eomir. Also, Shadowfax turns up. Yeah, Shadowfax. Gandalf rides around on Shadowfax. Why do I keep saying Shadowfax? I HAVE NO IDEA. All told, this is a lot more normal than what we’ve come to expect, but we’re pretty confident that it’s going to take a turn soon.In other news: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to

We finally get through the Fellowship of the Ring portion of the story, as the aforementioned Fellowship disbands and goes on their separate quests.Frodo sets off for Mordor on his own, with Sam in tow and Gollum not far behind, while Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas set off to rescue Merry and Pippin from a hoard of orcs…It’s pretty much what you remember from the Peter Jackson movies, but stripped of all that dumb character-building, motivation, and emotional core. BUT WE FINALLY GET GOLLUM! Yay! In other news: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on Twitter @TheT

Mourning the loss of Gandalf, the Fellowship has a sleepover with the elves, and Galadriel shows Frodo the full depths of the hospitality of the elves. All. Night. Long. Look, I don’t want to spoil shit, but that’s not a joke. Frodo literally bangs the fuck out of Galadriel. That’s in there. Listen for yourself. Other stuff happens, too, but Frodo and Galadriel going to the bone zone is really the centerpiece. I mean, do you need to know more? In other news: Don’t forget that our patrons can join us on a livestream while we record these episodes roughly a month in advance! They also get early access to posted episodes, AD FREE. Just head on over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and make a pledge! We’ll love you whether you do or not, but becoming a patron is the best way not to get friend-zoned. Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on Twitter @TheTableReads or find us on Facebook at www.Facebook.c

The trials of the Fellowship continue, as does the abject weirdness of this script! There’s man-on-man sexy blood magic, cryogenic stasis, and everyone’s favorite part of the books, where the only way into Moria is for Gandalf and Gimli to engage in some weird (and oddly racist) BDSM! Side note: Have you ever had a lost language BEATEN into you? With a stick? What am I saying? Of course you have! It’s a typical rite of passage, right? Right, guys? Right??Moving on, we get to see John Boorman’s take on Gandalf’s big (non-BDSM) scene. I was going to make a joke about how you need to subscribe or YOU SHALL NOT PASS, but it seems too on the nose, so I’m not gonna.But hey, if you want to join us for a livestream, just head over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and become a patron! You’ll also get early access to our episodes, AD-FREE, plus so much more!Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on Twitter @T

John Boorman takes us through the history of Middle Earth, the Rise and Fall of Sauron, and the One Ring falling onto the hands of Bilbo Baggins, including the rich tradition of Vaudeville in Rivendell. Oh, you didn’t know that Rivendell is known for juggling, interpretive dance, Kabuki theatre and pantomime? Jeez, have you even read the books?This episode goes a little long, but that’s okay with us, because we got through almost TWO WHOLE SCENES! Yeah, almost. This shit is pretty insane, guys. If you want to join us for a livestream, just head over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and become a patron! You’ll also get early access to our episodes, AD-FREE, plus so much more!Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on Twitter @TheTableReads or find us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Tablereads If you’d like more information on this script, our friends over at Screenplay Archaeology did a whole episode

The Hobbits set off for Rivendell, for reasons that are never, ever made clear, and are pursued relentlessly by water-soluble bad guys! They meet an ally along the way, who literally pops up out of nowhere and who they follow for literally no reason at all! The characters manage to have no personalities while simultaneously being somehow unlikable, but at least someone gets stabbed! Who? You’ll just have to listen to find out!But our Patreon supporters already know, because they got to tune in when we recorded the episode, all the way back in October! If you want to join us for a livestream, just head over to www.patreon.com/TableReads and become a patron! You’ll also get early access to our episodes, AD-FREE, plus so much more!Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to YouTube.tablereadspodcast.com and subscribe!As always, you can reach out to us on Twitter @TheTableReads or find us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Tablereads If you’d like more information on this script, our f

The start of any movie is where characters, themes and conflicts are established. There is a call to action, the establishment of the central conceit of the movie. It appears John Boorman skipped that part of screenwriting school. What we get here in part one is a confusing party, inconsistent characters, and a completely unmotivated quest, that the characters literally believe to be a vacation. The beginning of this script is like a seven-year-old child recounting what they remember of the beginning of Peter Jackson’s Fellowship of the Ring, 3 months after they watched it. Join us as we discover John Boorman’s vision of Middle-Earth with all the pomp and circumstance of Bilbo’s eleventy-first birthday, and none of the boring establishment of what the One Ring is!We also have a Patreon now! Go to http://www.patreon.com/TableReads and sign up for early, ad-free access to all our episodes, livestreams of our recording sessions and more!Our episodes are also available as in-studio videos on YouTube! Just go to Y

This episode is ACTION-PACKED… by which we mean that there are pages and pages of no dialogue… but the sheer level of bonkers in that action makes up for it! No exaggeration here: the insanity of this last part of Indy 3 is far in excess of all the insanity that has come before! There is so much insanity that we couldn’t contain it to a normal-length episode!That’s right, as a special treat to you, our beloved listeners, this is a special episode that is almost TWO HOURS LONG! There was just so much indy we had to deliver into the world, we had to push through til the end. It might also have something to do with the fact that we’d rather start a new script for our 100th episode next week rather than be finishing one. Join us for this unparalleled finale episode. It’s so crazy, it moves right past terrible and swings around to amazing. It closes the loop. Unbelievable, really. Just, wow.Another special treat for you is that Table Reads is now available as a video podcast! Check out youtube.tablereadspodcast.co

I know we’ve given you Nazi speedboats, machine gun arms, haunted castles and even a giant tank, but part 7 is where things really start to get silly! We’re talking distracted giant tank driving, African Mountain Sharks, golden cities and gorilla-people! Play a drinking game with this episode: When you get to a point where you assume Stephen Spielberg threw down the script in disgust, take a shot!**Table Reads claims no responsibility for liver failure as a result of this drinking game. This episode also marks the first time we recorded the podcast as a video! Check out youtube.tablereadspodcast.com to see the video! Feel free to subscribe over there to never miss an episode. We make funny faces, it’s worth it. Let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter @theTableReads. You can also follow us on Instagram @theTableReads or Facebook at www.facebook.com/tablereads. You can also find us wherever fine podcasts are downloaded! Find us on your favorite platform by visiting http://www.tablereadspodca

This whole episode is basically just the fight against the giant tank. BUT OH, WHAT A FIGHT! It has a Rhino! And a Ravine! And a bi-Plane! And a friendship tree! The giant tank sequence is basically the Death Star Trench run, but if the Ewoks were fighting on the sides, and TIE fighters worked by crashing into people, and there was a random Tauntaun.The point is: this is the most ambitious and also bonkers sequence ever dreamed up for Indiana Jones, and that’s including the infamous fridge.Agree? Disagree? Let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter @theTableReads. You can also follow us on Instagram @theTableReads or Facebook at www.facebook.com/tablereads. You can also find us wherever fine podcasts are downloaded! Find us on your favorite platform by visiting http://www.tablereadspodcast.com/listen

As we re-join Indy, he is in the midst of a huge pirate battle in the Zambesi river. But that’s far from the most exciting thing to happen to Indy in this episode! Because we go from Pirates to the jungle, where the Nazis have unleashed a new weapon seemingly just to use against Indy!And I really want to elaborate but I also really, really don’t want to spoil the surprise! So give this a listen. It is absolutely unbelievable. You’ll kick yourself if you miss this one.And, as always, your input is welcomed! Let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter @theTableReads. You can also follow us on Instagram @theTableReads or Facebook at www.facebook.com/tablereads. You can also find us wherever fine podcasts are downloaded! Find us on your favorite platform by visiting http://www.tablereadspodcast.com/listen

Hey there. Are you looking for some exposition? WE’VE GOT IT! Are you looking for a bunch of Betsy hijinks? WE’VE GOT THAT TOO! How about some Pirates? Oh, we’ve fucking GOT THAT. Join us for Part 4 of Chris Columbus’ most notorious script, as Indy continues his journey to find… some very nice fresh fruit? And, as always, your input is welcomed! Let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter @theTableReads. You can also follow us on Instagram @theTableReads or Facebook at www.facebook.com/tablereads. You can also find us wherever fine podcasts are downloaded! Find us on your favorite platform by visiting http://www.tablereadspodcast.com/listen

Part three opens with Indy having just arrived in Africa, where he quickly meets an immortal pygmy, upsets some Nazis, and has to get in a speedboat chase in order to rescue that pygmy from those Nazis, lest he give Hitler the secret to his immortality...And if all of that sounds reasonable to you, then we’re flattered that you’ve discovered our podcast, Mr. Columbus!Whether you’re Chris Columbus or just someone suffering through his writing with us, let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter @theTableReads. You can also follow us on Instagram @theTableReads or Facebook at www.facebook.com/tablereads. You can also find us wherever fine podcasts are downloaded! Find us on your favorite platform by visiting http://www.tablereadspodcast.com/listen