Synopsis
Every day, millions of people write reviews for products and places online. Using Esther Szalinskis famous method of transferrence, Malcolm and Maggie will steal those precious memories to instantiate a new, real person: Susan. New episodes every Wednesday.
Episodes
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66: Thomas and George 2
16/10/2019 Duration: 27minWe're trying out a new thing... Sharing names between episodes that go together. Will this make it easier to figure out when new stories begin? Perhaps! In this episode: The saga of Thomas and George comes to its inevitable conclusion, and we leave poor real person George Chen with a memory he'll never forget.
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65: Thomas and George
10/10/2019 Duration: 25minIn this episode: We meet Thomas the reverse bicentennial man, and begin the arduous process of plotting out his time in Susan's restaurant. Also discussed - Malcolm's upcoming trip to Tampa with his new friend George Chen.
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64: Ball Life
25/09/2019 Duration: 24minOkay, so in the post-baby world, we seem to be on a bi-weekly schedule. No doubt this will resolve itself in the weeks to come, just as soon as the baby starts pulling her weight in the podcasting department. In this episode: We discover just how short ball life can be. Producer's note: If you have any information concerning "Twilight Zone Forever Mailman", please forward it to susanfromscratch@gmail.com
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63: The Sturgeon King
11/09/2019 Duration: 28minIn this episode: We explore the dark origins of everyone's favorite fishman, Zit "Too Long" Shorts! Also discussed - how to take advantage of fellow airplane passengers, and some of the murkier details of sandwich mathematics.
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62: The Fishman Cometh
28/08/2019 Duration: 23minWhat's that sound?? That's right, it's the repeated thumping of knees and elbows on the table! Mag and Mal are together again, recording into a single microphone. But rest assured, while the audio quality of this episode may have taken a serious hit, the content is as good as ever! In this episode: Susan receives sage wisdom regarding goldfish rearing methods, and makes a friend that might just get her into the watery bowels of the city. To clarify - we're talking about the city's secret fish zones.
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61: Motley Su(san)
21/08/2019 Duration: 25minIn this episode: Susan briefly tours pontoon city (which is just as cool as you thought it was going to be) and manages to bring this void-universe journey to a close. Additionally - Mal & Mag struggle to dredge up any knowledge whatsoever about a group of fairly well known rockstars.
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Announcement!
25/07/2019 Duration: 01minOK so listen! One of us may have sort of in a certain sense if you look at it in just the right way from a certain perspective had a baby. That is to say, well, let me put it this way. I HAD A BABY!!!! (I, in this instance, am Malcolm) OK! More info soon. Look out for new episodes, they will eventually be coming.
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60: Waterbees
10/07/2019 Duration: 23minIn this episode: Susan's voidworld journey takes her to the outskirts of pontoon city, but perhaps those friendly waters aren't as friendly as they seem... Editor's note: Malcolm is the clear winner of the "Guinness Bet"(tm) made in this episode.
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59: Dune: Waterworld
03/07/2019 Duration: 25minIn this episode: Susan's journey through the voidworld continues... To say more would spoil the fun.
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58: Into the void
26/06/2019 Duration: 22minIn this episode: We catch up with the marimo balls, which have been chilling on Malcolm's desk for some week now. And, Susan catches up with her past, or rather, Susan's past catches up with her. An opportunity presents itself to right an old wrong, but the path is dangerous. Does Susan resist the call of adventure? You'll just have to listen to the episode to find out.
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57: Dog Iron
19/06/2019 Duration: 18minIn this episode: We discuss mornings, morning routines, morning meals, mourning, and mjolnir (some segments from broadcast cut for time). Also, not to kill that morning vibe, Susan's life is crossed by yet another dark curse.
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56: Quills and Thrills
12/06/2019 Duration: 22minIn this episode: The deposition of quills into bums, and their subsequent removal, is discussed in a surprising amount of detail. Additionally, Susan has some experiences buying items beyond price, and slicing bananas beyond once (i.e., slicing bananas a bunch of times; I hope that's clearer).
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55: The Clockson
05/06/2019 Duration: 21minIn this episode: Maggie educates the listeners on the subject of plant shields, Malcolm fails to deliver a riddle, and Susan struggles against the bonds of an ancient family curse. Jeremy Clarkson is also briefly mentioned, but that may have been an accident. It's not really brought up again.
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54: Cornstarch Boyz 2
29/05/2019 Duration: 15minIn this episode: Good vacation times are recalled, good vacation toys are remembered, good little men are brought to life. Basically, it's all good.
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53: Claw Hans
22/05/2019 Duration: 15minIn this episode: Malcolm drinks one fast martini, Maggie admits defeat in her quest, and Susan toys with the possibility of hand replacement surgery.
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52: Mandywatch 2k19
15/05/2019 Duration: 04minSPECIAL REPORT SPECIAL REPORT SPECIAL REPORT Mandywatch 2k19 is live now. We bring you up to the minute info as the drama unfolds in the heart of our nation's capital.
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51: Dancing with Mandy
08/05/2019 Duration: 44minIn this episode: Susan defeats the nemesis of the bathroom, trains her little ugly men, and is more than generous with the family knives.
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50: The Challenge Episode
01/05/2019 Duration: 40minThis here's a bit of a challenge. It was a challenge for us, certainly. It absolutely presents Susan with some challenges. You might even find it a bit of a challenge to listen to yourself. In this episode Susan gets a friend into hot water but doesn't get them out, fails to bribe a bridge troll (honestly he's a very nice man, not a troll at all), and does screech her fact clean of hair.
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49: Wax Daddy, My Baddy
24/04/2019 Duration: 32minIn which Susan climbs a wall (or rather, doesn't climb a wall), destroys a celebrity through great negligence, and then rebuilds that celebrity through grit (and wax).