Conversations With Cinthia

How do you approach the issue of trusting others?  Every human being is a risk.  This does not necessarily mean that we are all dangerous at deep levels, but it does mean we are fallible and that we have the capacity and potential to hurt and fail one another.  We all yearn for acceptance, accept ugly things, and are still trying to figure out who we are supposed to be.  We have trouble trusting God because we forget that God never lies.  He is perfect.  He loves His creation to the point of death.  He has experienced more harm, offense, and pain than anyone else has ever experienced, and He continues to experience our selfishness, greed, and immaturity.  In many ways, we are not a good risk for God, yet He risks relationship with us.  Jesus is the Word Who became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1); He brings us back to God the Father.  God is a good Father.  We can hold Him accountable for His words, and we must not disrespect Him.  As difficult as trust can be, we are wired for it.  We cannot help but trust

Do you struggle with letting others love you?  Today Cinthia reviews some important concepts about letting others love you.  We all need grace, kindness, even smiles; you can receive and give these things.  The better your boundaries are, the more loving you can be.  Extending grace does not mean the person owes you something.  I Corinthians 13, as well as other verses about the love of God, give us a picture of what love means.  God is kind; you be kind.  Practice kindness toward strangers and toward those close to you, honoring appropriate boundaries; receive kindnesses in the same way.  Kindness shown does not necessarily mean that one person owes another something.  Deciding for others what they are expecting in return is a boundary violation.  You do not have to read the minds of others.  Don’t allow suspicion to steal from you or from those who try to give you something.  It is okay to ask or to offer payment, but, often, the best repayment for someone’s kindness is continuing to live as a changed perso

Today Cinthia discusses an important issue and then welcomes Kelsey Pritchard of SBA Pro-Life America to discuss it further.  Cinthia and Pritchard explain that the political conversation about abortion this election season includes significant misinformation and some outright lies.  For example, candidates have indicated that abortions do not currently happen in the ninth month in the United States, but, in fact, they are legal for any reason up to birth in ten states and in DC.  Many political ads and figures are insisting that pro-life laws will result in a lack of healthcare for women who need it, that doctors will even be prosecuted for simply providing lifesaving care to women, including performing surgery for an ectopic pregnancy.  In fact, every state allows lifesaving care for the mother, even when it requires inducing labor at a time when the baby may or may not survive after birth.  Care for an ectopic pregnancy is not medically or legally considered abortion, and abortion laws do not apply to thes

The word “discernment” can have a lot of different meanings; today Cinthia discusses it as the process of determining what God is calling you to do.  This can apply to vocation, marriage or singleness, and so many other important questions, and a given person can have several different callings at once (e.g., being married, working a particular job, etc.).  Cinthia emphasizes today that God wants us to know what He wants for us and has given us tools for making these decisions.  Discernment may seem mysterious at times, but it is more about awareness than any kind of weirdness.  God has a call on every life, and He wants us to find that call.  He wants us to know why He made us and what we are supposed to be doing on the planet.  Discernment is a gift that God gives us, so the first step is to ask God for wisdom, guidance, and help to follow His lead.  James 1:5-6 (ESV) says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask

Do you acknowledge the choices you have?  You may not always have the choices that you wish you had, but you always have a choice.  Today Cinthia discussed what it means to take ownership of your life and the choices you have.  Acknowledging your own choices means giving up the option to blame others for the entire direction of your life (although it does not mean accepting blame for things that were not your fault -- In fact, sometimes one of the choices you have is whether to accept and affirm that someone else’s choice was not your fault, however deeply it may have impacted you.).  Even people in very tragic situations (e.g., POWs) have choices within their situations, though those choices may be more limited.  Victor Frankl wrote about his experiences in German concentration camps; he observed that prisoners who chose to accept their situations but also find meaning in their suffering were more likely to survive the experience.  They chose not to accept full victimhood by owning the choices that were thei

Do you reject compliments, explaining why you don’t really deserve them?  Do you get nervous when someone does something nice for you, turn down offers of help even when you could really use them, or hate the feeling you get when someone forgives you or extends grace and kindness your way?  Today’s show is on letting other people love you. It can be scary and humbling to let someone love you and give you grace.  The enemy (i.e., Satan) will try to exploit this by encouraging you to think that you are in a one-down position.  Sometimes it is easier to accept good things from a stranger because we do not worry there will be an ongoing obligation in the relationship.  But grace, kindness, forgiveness, and help are meant to be gifts of honor.  Do not insult the person trying to honor you by rejecting that honor.  So how do we honor the gifts of love others give us?  Well, if we are gifted forgiveness, grace, and covering, change is the best response.  Grace helps us have energy to get up again and do it right, to

Today Cinthia talked about the costs and value of pleasure and virtue.  In our culture, pursuing pleasure seems to make sense, to be part of living our best life.  And pleasure can be a good thing; sometimes it can help us enjoy good things, mitigate pain, etc.  But pleasure always has a price.  Sometimes pleasure is worth the price, but sometimes it is not.  Sometimes pleasure costs us more than we anticipated or acknowledged it would cost, both for us and for those around us.  Sometimes, in our attempts to mitigate pain with pleasure, we create more problems and pain.  Being willing to cause pain to others in order to secure pleasure for ourselves is called selfishness.  Being willing to cause harm to ourselves in order to experience pleasure is problematic, as well, particularly for those who believe human beings were created with value by something bigger than ourselves; harming ourselves also ultimately harms others, as well. Virtue also has a price.  Pleasure and virtue each cost us something.  Good cha

The phrase “good vibes” has been around for a few decades now, and it is sometimes associated with cultural eccentricity.  In fact, however, the phrase can be associated with electricity because the human body has electrical currents that travel up to 120 meters per second.  The electricity in our bodies is real, and it is impacted by our habits, particularly those that involve mental hygiene.  If you want to boost your positive vibes quickly, here are ten things you can do.  Some of them may sound similar, but the nuances are different. Think positively.  This does not mean brainwashing yourself to believe what is not true or ignoring what needs to be fixed, but it does mean you look for what is really, truly good instead of automatically assuming the bad. Strengthen your memory for positive information. Your brain wants to help you by detecting threats early, so it often holds onto the negative memories.  But you can purposely direct your brain to remember the positive things, too.  Use recall for good. Sto

For many of us, the harshest litany in our lives is the stream of self-evaluations running through our heads.  This can seem harmless and even necessary to control our behavior; it is easily confused with appropriately holding ourselves accountable.  But the way we deal with ourselves reveals a lot about our views of reality, and it tends to leak out into our relationships with others, though we may not be aware of that.  Today Cinthia looks at two big (and related) reasons we are so hard on ourselves: unforgiveness and perfectionism. Cinthia states that the following is an important rule of life: We accept forgiveness, and we offer forgiveness.  These two actions often seem separate to us, and most of us find one easier than the other.  The two are bound together, however, as Jesus showed in Matthew 6:9-13, often called “The Lord’s Prayer,” and in Matthew 7:12, often called “the Golden Rule.”  (This last has reflections and corollaries that are found in every major religion, indicating that God has written i

Today Cinthia conducted two interviews with individuals who work in areas significant to events happening in the world.  First, she talked with Kelsey Pritchard, who is the director of state public affairs for SBA Pro-Life America; she was previously the communications director for former South Dakota governor Dennis Daugaard and has also worked in the private sector.  Pritchard talked about the significance of the Dobbs decision and the way society has shifted in its thoughts about abortion since Roe v. Wade.  She discussed the way the narrative has altered with deceptive language and misinformation so that a woman with an unplanned pregnancy may easily find herself thinking that abortion is her only real option.  She also discussed studies by the Charlotte Lozier Institute that have looked at the impact of abortions on the women who have them, as well as the reasons they report having had those abortions in the first place; Pritchard stated that about two-thirds indicate they did not really want the abortio

For every person in the world diagnosed with an addiction or mental disorder, there is at least one other person trying to help someone in this condition.  Families are deeply impacted, and these situations can be ripe for misunderstanding, misinformation, and stigma.  Today Cinthia explores how to love well when a loved one struggles with a mental illness or addiction.  She began at the beginning of Luke 10 and explored issues related to boundaries and codependency in several passages leading up to the parable of the Good Samaritan.  She then looked directly at the parable and discussed what he did and did not do to help the wounded man, as well as whether he might have had to respond differently if he had been trying to help his own relative.  Cinthia noted that the Good Samaritan offered simple help, not judging or lecturing, not becoming over-involved, but valuing the wounded man and helping him by giving what he could with appropriate expectations.   Sometimes humans complicate it when God asks us to hel