Botched: A D&d Podcast

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Sick of puzzles and traps yet? Good, because there are so many left for these dinguses. Currently they have to figure out a way of a room of strange mushrooms. You might think that this would be pretty easy to experiment and figure out, but you would be wrong. The group never ceases to amaze in how to overcomplicate their lives without trying out the simplest solutions. Unfortunately for them, the mushroom room is not the last of their worries. There are hallways lined with unusual traps and a room filled with…pipes! What are all these pipes doing in this room? Why are they different colors? What could be in a Russian nesting box? What do you call an orc baby? What do purple mushrooms do? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! One of the main enemies of these players are the use of brains. In this case the literal use, as giant floating brains are trying to kill them. Assuming they can get past them…and the room these dummies engulfed in flames, there are other dangers awaiting. The group is struggling with remaining healthy and are taking an awful lot of breaks. Wasn’t there a giant bubble slowly encircling the planet? I’m sure they will have all the time in the world and not some sort of unknown ticking clock. The castle however, is not like a normal castle. There appears to be different planes of existence, or at the very least pocket dimensions. What is the secret to killing the brain creatures? What happens in a room of giant mushrooms? Are they edible? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well, Phil lost another limb. Nothing brings the DM more joy honestly and thank goodness Phil botches so much. At this point I’m guessing they wish they took the elevator with Kip and Sachy…or maybe not. Climbing higher into this castle they will find even more trials and tribulations. We finally get back to the old days of puzzle dungeoning with even traps, puzzles and finally some riddles. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for the listeners they can’t hear how long it takes these jack asses to figure these things out. What sort of puzzles await them? Will there be any creatures in this giant castle? What the hell is the Dewey Decimal system? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long lo

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It seems Nobu wasn’t quite fast enough and his “old friends” got away. Chances are, Nobu doesn’t want anyone else to know where he is. I’m sure that will work itself out…or he will be dead before it matters. Now, however, he has to worry about the castle leering overhead. I’m pretty sure the group forgot about the energy bubble spreading over the land as they have not shown any haste in completing their task. Inside the castle they find a rather grim and bloody scene. However, they also find someone still alive, waiting to become an ally! The castle seems to be filled with traps and different path ways. Do any of these paths lead to where the group wants to go? What sort of traps or puzzles await them? Which character is deathly afraid of camels? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group now has a shape shifting gnome and a mute goblin monk following them around. I’m sure for anyone else that would be weird, but it seems to be par for the course really. These compatriots also seem to know Nobu, or “Lobu” as he is currently calling himself. He must really not want to go back to farming potatoes. The castle looms in the distance and the only thing separating them is a long stretch of forest. What dangers await in these woods? Is anything guarding the tower? Will our special guest’s characters make it through the episode and still be alive? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well that was a rather surprising turn of events. Well, surprising if you listen to any other group of assholes play D&D. These guys seem to screw up the entire world every time they make decisions. This time around by killing the super friendly vampires, they have summoned a giant walking castle from the ocean with a big throbbing crystal on top. Luckily, it also seems to be corrupting all the wildlife around it so that’s a plus. On the bright side, they seem to make a pair of new friends, who know a little something about one of our adventurers…Time for them to make their way back to the mainland and try to clean up another of their messes. Who are these strange new allies? What is that giant walking castle going to do? How metal can a seagull be? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as th

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group, in searching for the friendly vampires have stumbled into a series of traps. Well, Sir Fennec especially has seemed to have fallen into a rather nasty one. I wonder what happens when you hit a hard surface falling from 200 feet? The group will soon find out! After they deal with that messy situation, they are going to have to deal with a few other trials and tribulations before finding their vampire buddies. Did Sir Fennec manage to make it out of the fall alive? What other traps await them in the dungeon? What are the vampires up to? When are blood sacrifices ok? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Just when you thought there couldn’t be more shopping, Botched Podcast gives you…even more shopping! However, Old Prospector alerted the group that they are working for a bunch of blood cultist vampires. They have now arrived back at the island only to find none of the inhabitants in the town. In this episode, the group will search the town to figure out where the supposed vampires might have gone. They come across a hidden series of tunnels underneath the island town. What will they find down in these tunnels? What possible dangers await them? Why are there no torches? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! What a fabulous shopping spree the group has just finished with. Now they have a new ally in the Ratsketball, and he is full of rope. Adorned in their Khak suits, the group is now tasked with a quest by Christina Wisdomian. In order to get some special gear of their own, they must seek out towns across the sea and trade for some much-needed goods. The town of Resthaven needs leather, 11 herbs and spices, some livestock and some ore. What do they need these items for? Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th editio

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well this seems like quite a nice little village they’ve found themselves in. A little foggy sure, but everyone seems awfully friendly. They’re well mannered, kind and accommodating! The group is in luck as this town doesn’t have a form of money. They all just trade goods and services for what they want. There happen to be a number of little shops in this town. I wonder what completely normal items they will acquire over the course of their stay. What sort of goods are available in this town? What services must they provide in order to acquire goods? Why are these people so nice? What is a khaksuit? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is in

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Why can’t these guys just take their punishment like they deserve? Of course not, they not only have to break out, but have to make a mess doing so and cause as much pain as possible. Now that they are free there seems to be a bigger issue. A giant killer fish monster is attacking the boat. I’m sure the group will heroically help defend the ship against the monster and then gain a new crew of prisoners and guards to sail the seas looking for adventure! Just kidding, they are only out for themselves as always. After meeting a familiar face, the group attempts to leave the rest of the assholes on the boat behind. Who do they meet on the deck of the boat? Can they escape the fish monster? If they do manage to get away, where will they go in the middle of a colossal storm? How easy is it to surf an ocean vortex? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble thr

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Another story completed, another new chapter to start. The last chapter didn’t quite end how the guys wanted, but I guess that’s what happens when you roleplay as murder hobos! In this new session we join a familiar face and some new ones as they are prisoners of the Knights of the Phoenix. In the rain, they are transferred to a boat, where they will be taken to an undisclosed island hidden in the Schuylkill Sea. This hodge-podge of brigands, derelict souls and generally shitty individuals will have a long, painful, work filled life ahead of them. That is, unless something happens to them along the way to change their fates. Who are these new strangers? What did they do to deserve such a fate? Why is the island so remote? Is there any danger on the way to the island? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! As Nobu charges the Kronenbergers, the time has come to meet the new gods. The group must now converse with the new gods and make sure that they enlist their help against the old gods. Due to the previous decisions of the group, sacrifices must be made in order to save the Kronenbergers. Knight Commander Nachio Del Grande is in route to give the group their just rewards. Will the group enlist the aid of the gods? Can they save the kronenbergers? What will they receive from Nachio Del Grande? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast f

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The people of Squalls End are not looking so good. In fact, the town itself is pretty fucked. After crashing their flying ride into the town, they hid in a granary to make a last stand. That didn’t go so well either as the kronenbergers started coming in the walls and through the roof. They found a tunnel and descended into its depths. Now they look for a way out as the kronenbergers scratch at the ceiling trying to get in. What else is down in these tunnels? Can they escape the kronenbergers? What will happen at midnight? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Now that the group has successfully kidnapped Clarice. They have decided to follow their orders however they feel like yet again. The ship floats above Squalls End, waiting. The group has no idea what they’re waiting for exactly. All they know is Clarice needs to be in town at Midnight when the New Gods arrive. I’m sure their plan of waiting until midnight and then parachuting down to the ground just in the nick of time will go perfectly. What could possibly go wrong? What’s happening in town while they wait? How does Clarice feel about the group murdering innocent people to keep the boat running? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is inte

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Of course, the group thought it would be a great idea to kidnap the princess to keep her safe instead of just keeping her safe where she was. To be fair the group was trying to protect her from a religious war. Oh wait. They started the religious war when they murdered a child with a rock. Not only that, but they threatened to murder the ones protecting the living god Clarice. I guess they are only following orders after all. Oh wait. They didn’t bother to listen to all of their orders and the ones they listened to say no such thing. On the bright side they have run into a group of actual would be kidnappers. After dealing with that situation, I’m sure the situation they created with the town will be just fine too. Who are these kidnappers? What do they want with Clarice? How will that religious war pan out? Does the group plan to follow any of their actual orders? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionabl

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Last I checked, the group was just supposed to scout out the situation and then report back for more orders. However, in normal Botched fashion, they decide to involve themselves directly in the situation. After making friends with Clarice, they leave the village together to have a night out to chat with the young possible living goddess. The group now appears surrounded by unknown entities. Who is approaching in the field? Will the group ever actually report back for their new orders? If they get their orders will they actually follow them? How can the group ruin the relatively peaceful disagreements of the different groups in Squalls End? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long lo

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The phoenix flare sure did come in handy! A new crew has now joined the mission. Before taking off, the ship needs to be repaired completely and the dragons need to be looted properly. There is one issue of the soul bong needing souls in order for them to get off the ground. Assuming the group figures out their way around that issue, all that’s left to do is making it to Squall’s End. What awaits them in Squalls End? Where did they find the souls to get the boat in the air? What did they end up doing with all the dragon guts? Will the group become good friends with the crew? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! A crashed airship can’t keep this team down. Repairs already underway, the group now faces off against a group of hungry wyrmlings. They managed to kill a couple with the aid of Also Randy, Frank and the Captain. However, in doing so, they have agitated a very large momma dragon. The group continues to fend off the scaley beasts, while hoping that some help arrives. They did fire off a giant phoenix flare after all. Will the group manage to fend off these hungry denizens of the swamp? Will anyone respond to the phoenix flare? Is now the time for the mutinanny? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil wors

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group has certainly left their mark on the flying airship…by already “accidentally” killing a crewman. To be fair, it was probably a pretty terrible idea for the captain to let such stupid people try and pilot the first ever flying ship. Satchy repaid the Captain for his mistake in his own…strange way. Though, it doesn’t really change the minds of the rest of the crew. Poxxin, meanwhile, seems pretty enamored with what’s behind the mystery door. Now the crew tries to survive an intense storm. Will they make it through the storm in one piece? Who will survive? What is behind that mystery door? Where the hell is Jator and how can he be sleeping at a time like this? Tune in and find out! Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons. If you are a veteran dra