Like A Mother

  I get messages all the time from married moms who want to be in my moms' groups.  I get that you feel alone, that you don't fit into a happy, 'traditional' family. But you're not allowed. Sorry. I feel for you. I do. Anecdotally, I don’t know so many really happy marriages, and scholars have found the same. Per Rebecca Traister’s very excellent bestselling All The Single Ladies: Psychologist Ty Tashiro suggested in a 2014 book that only three in ten married people enjoy happy and healthy marriages, and that being in an unhappy partnership can increase your chances of getting sick by about 35 percent. Another researcher, John Gottman, has found that being in an unhappy union could shorten your life by four years. A recently published Stanford study found that women initiate divorce 69 percent of the time. In other words: Married mom desperate to hang with single moms: You are not alone in your marital misery. You’re good! Normal!  Meanwhile, single motherhood is losing its stigma, so much so that all thes

  Really excited about this episode! Media mogul, political pundit, single mom and Forbes' 'Most Powerful Woman,' Arianna Huffington joins me on this awesome episode to talk about her New York Times bestselling book, The Sleep Revolution: Transform Your Life, One Night At A Time. After the show, Arianna emailed to say our conversation "felt like talking to an old friend" — and I agree. In this Like a Mother episode, the Huffington Post co-founder and editor-in-chief and I dish about: The indisputable, powerful, cannot-ignore science quantifying why sleep is really key to health, wealth and happiness.  How we could all save so much money and energy on beauty treatments if we just chilled out and got regular Zs (Jane Fonda and Jennifer Anniston told Huffington sleep was the key to their ageless looks). Huffington's own rock-bottom of sleeplessness— waking in a pool of her own blood, having passed out in a bout of extreme exhaustion. The expensive professional mistakes Huffington made as a result of lack of sle

  In this episode I address a reader's question:  I'm going to introduce the guy I'm seeing to my kids. Do I need to tell my ex? Even if it's not serious? Great question! Have a listen for my answer! Bottom lines: It's none of your ex's business — or vice versa. If you have a great and open relationship with your ex, then you should tell him because not telling him in your case would be weird.  If your kids are at risk of getting stuck in the middle of this pickle — say, might lie about meeting your new guy to protect their dad's feelings, or avoid a family fight — then you should also tell your ex in this case. I also give you specific scripts for sharing your dating status with your kids' dad, and tools for owning your truth, even if your ex calls you a filthy whore to your face (my story, maybe not your own).  Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!  Are you part of the new Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms? No income requirement, though BIG GOALS

  Wow, this interview was so, so amazing.  Regena Thomashauser, aka Mama Gena, is truly a renegade pioneer of feminism and female sexuality (is that redundant?). Through her in-person workshops called Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts, and books by the same name, including (to-be-released in September) Pussy: A Reclamation, Thomashauser offers a fascinating history on the power of female sensuality and sexuality, biology lessons on female anatomy and the possibilities (and fruits of) hours-long orgasms, and advice on how women today can reclaim and master the power of their own sensualities. In this awesome interview, Mama Gena shares with me: Why pussy and what that word really, truly means.  Why it is so critical for women to learn what pleases their every senses — a practice that guarantees  attracting the biggest genuine fulfillment and success in career, parenting and romance. Her own journey as a divorced mother to a young daughter, while dating and building a business.  Why a part of her appreciates

just 22 percent of dads who do not live in the same house as their kids are actively involved.  That is bad. It is bad for the kids, of course, because they miss out on a close relationship with their father. It is bad for the moms, who do not enjoy the emotional, logistical or time-off afforded by a co-parent. This, too, hurts kids, who then are more likely to have an exhausted and stressed-out mom who is worried about the effects of an absentee dad on her children. Absentee fatherhood is bad for the dads, too. Whatever the circumstances are, they miss out on parenting, close relationships with their children, and the pride of knowing they are upholding their parental responsibilities. The more men do not step up and father their children, the worst it makes it for all men and fathers. This becomes the norm, a horrible norm, and men are not given the benefit of doubt in family court, in society or on the playground. Further, the fewer active dads around, the fewer active dads our children see — and as a soci

  Wendy Paris, journalist and mom, joins me to talk about the revolution afoot: There are in fact good divorces, and she can tell you how to have one. In her new and wonderful book, Splitopia, Paris explains the elements of a good divorce, how to achieve them, and the beauty of normalizing the end of a marriage. In this episode she shares: How to go through the inevitable freak-out of divorce without destroying your life. The balance between self-love, and self-reflective, brutal honesty. Dating, sex and love after your marriage shits the bed. Why and how to avoid spending your retirement and kids' college fund on a divorce lawyer.   Have a listen - she's delightful, wise and offers the roadmap for ushering this inevitable life event into the 21st century and beyond.

A few weeks ago my friend and podcast producer Chad Dougatz of Hangar Studios announced that he was going to interview me for my show. What?! Here you go! Why I stayed in the apartment I'd shared with my ex after my divorce. The realities of my Facebook / IG life vs. reality. Why I'm grateful my ex doesn't pay child support. How long it took me to start dating after my divorce. How long it took me to have sex after divorce. How I really feel about my body naked with men now. Whether I want to remarry. My deep secret dream career move I've never shared with anyone.    

What is family? Of course, you can define family any way you like -- as the seismic shift created by gay marriage, a now-minority percentage that 'traditional' nuclear families constitute in this country, and the booming numbers of unmarried mothers.  Tanya Van Court has lived her whole life outside of the 'traditional' nuclear family -- starting when her then-39-year-old black single mom of five married a white, single 25-year-old colleague, who then assumed fatherhood of the whole brood, including Tanya. In this episode Tanya recounts her mother's death when the girl was 6, her aunt's adoption of Tanya and her five siblings, the racial stirrings of Oakland, Calif. at the time, and her own, revolutionary, "happy divorce" she enjoys with her kids' dad today.  Oh! There's more! This former marketing ex at ESPN, Nickelodeon and Discovery, and now CEO and founder of the amazing saving app for kids, iSow, shares her about the latest chapter of her new family story: Van Court, who lives in Brooklyn where she co-pa

A few years ago I wrote this a couple years ago while reflecting on my own first post-divorce breakup. It continues to be one of the most-trafficked posts on this whole blog, more than two years later. I haven’t read about this phenomenon anywhere else, but it is apparently very, very common: When your first relationship after your marriage ends, the pain is like nothing else. Here I explore why. If this is your experience, I hope this helps you understand what you are going through. Please share this with others who may benefit — and share your own experience in the comments. That way, we can all feel less alone. Related posts: Why post-divorce rebound relationships hurt so damn bad (and why divorces are totally different and way worse than breakups) Post-divorce rebound: A requisite heart pummeling Healing from divorce takes the long and winding road xo, Emma  

A few months ago I was complaining to friend and Like a Mother guest and business Jenn Scalia about feeling stalled in my career. "I can't work with you until you get through your money blocks," Jenn said, matter-of-factly. You might remember that Jenn went from earning a $38,000 salary to a profit of $400,000 in two years. She credits the work of Denise Duffield-Thomas, a money mindset coach and author of Lucky Bitch and Get Rich, Lucky Bitch.  I paid attention. Fast-forward two months. I'd read Thomas's book. I love how she offered very clear, reasonable, actionable steps for manifesting what I wanted (in this case: MONEY). She was funny and real, not pretentious, new-agey or annoying in any way. Guess what? Money started flowing into my life. Career goals I set magically manifested. Key people I needed on my team suddenly were introduced. Even smaller things -- like my brother gave me his old TV, which was on my to-buy list for Christmas. I met others who had the same experience with Thomas. I bought a sta

My favorite episode yet! Super-special guest today ... my daughter, Helena. This 8-year-old gorgeous pickle and I have a mother-daughter interview: What it's like to be a kid of divorce What she thinks about her mom dating Why kissing in movies makes her so embarrassed  My proudest and best memories of motherhood How she feels about about walking to the bus stop by herself How we're both -- in her words -- "classy -- like a bar with a piano."  

Insider secret: Even the most poised, gorgeous, successful people are shitting their pants, all day long. So if you feel a little fat, a bit unsure of yourself, a tad -- or a lot!  -- inadequate ... join the effing club mama!  In this episode I elaborate on these tricks I've cultivated over the years   Give yourself a compliment on your appearance. Every. Single. Day.  Give yourself a compliment on YOURSELF every single day.  Read my Feel too fat to find great sex? Shut up and read these 3 things … Dress up and look your best every single day.  Fake it till you make it.  Note someone in your life who walks about as if they are confident and sexy all the time.  Before you walk into a bar or club, I tell yourself: ‘You are the hottest woman in there.’ If you believe it, men then do, too. Have sex with yourself all the time.  Think to times you adored another person’s body, in all its human splendor, because you adored him. You and your human body are just as lovable, too.   What do you do to feel sexy and con

What's it like when a dad moves out of the house in the middle of divorce? In this episode I interview my friend Chad Dougatz, of Hangar Studios, the genius behind this and other amazing podcasts, including Chicken Soup For the Soul. Chad, who is launching his own show on this process, Dad's Pad, just moved out his family house a few days prior. In this episode we talk about: What it feels like to live separately from his kids. The logistical and emotional maneuvering when one of your kids is technically a stepchild. Dating. Now? Too soon? Ikea. Because Ikea is always involved in these situations.  

In a crappy job? Miserable in your work? Underpaid, burnt out, and not sure where to go? In this episode I get your ass in gear. I will show you: Why a vision is so critical to your success -- and how to get one! How to identify your skills and strengths -- way, way outside your resume. The REAL way to network, and why networking is so critical to your career, happiness, life and success. The hidden ways you are likely sabotaging yourself - and how to stop. Why feeling nervous, scared, uncomfortable and terrified are EXACTLY how you should feel. Why you are likely to have way more success than you ever thought possible. Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah! 

What will it take to creating the parental leave and family-friendly policies in the workplace? First step - aggressive acts of bravery by moms inside the system.  Sandra Schwarzer, global director of human resources at Soros Open Foundations, the largest nonprofit organization in the world, shares about her own macro-aggression inside her company, fought hard for a new policy for all its 1,600 to receive 6 months parental leave, half of it full pay, three months 70 percent pay -- with tons of flexibility of how they chose to use it -- including in the U.S. offices. In this episode Schwarzer talks about what it took to make happen what she calls her "greatest career achievement to date." Why companies of all sizes benefit from generous parental leave. The financial ROI on strong family policy. Argument for taking care of employees, who, ultimately take care of employers.

  There are times when we are getting along, when we are chatting like old friends at the kids’ T-ball game, the kids are exhausted from schlepping back and forth between our apartments, I remember all his good qualities and all the benefits of marriage, and I think: Can’t we just be adults and make it work? Can’t we just agree not to fight any more? Be in one home, be practical, get over this trite, adolescent notion of forever soulful romantic love, have no expectations your husband will fulfill you and just be realistic already – FOR THE KIDS’ SAKE?  Then he will blame me for my kid tripping in the hallway of my apartment and getting a bloody boo-boo on his head, or cancel a visit with the kids last-minute because he wants to see a concert and all those cozy notions are thrown out the window quicker than a Las Vegas divorce. Maybe it means I’m selfish. Maybe it means I can’t control my anger. Maybe it means I am a indulgent adolescent artist, but I don’t want to be married to my ex-husband so I am not marr

  Dr. Susan O'Malley is pretty awesome. With her thick New York accent, this lifelong underachiever, secretary with no more than a high school diploma, set out at age 30 to become a physician. She did it. In this interview, I interview this amazing, charming woman who did not let her age, marital or family status or the zillions of naysayers hold her back from her mid-life dream of medicine.   Dr. Susan O'Malley shares about: How she got over her low-self image to preserver through rejection from every medical school in the country, and eventual acceptance Romantic disappointments Powering through one of the most rigorous academic paths as a single mom of a newborn to become an emergency room physician. Her eventual move to cosmetic medicine and entrepreneurship with the opening of Sonas Med Spa in Connecticut The power of physical beauty Dating as a single mother What she does with her money Her daily schedule while in medical school while raising her tiny son Listen to her gush about the 15-year romance w

  If younger men are hot for old moms, and old moms complain men their age want younger women -- what do younger women have to say about all this? In this episode I chat with my friend and podcast editor Rachel Jacobs, an awesome 25-year-old woman who'd love to meet a guy and have a family one day -- but finds the pickings are slim, in part, because everyone is dating outside their age zone. Really funny and interesting perspective. Have a listen! 

I've known Alaina Shearer, aka MsSingleMama, since I started blogging 3.5 years ago. We bumped into one another at a conference, she immediately shared with me all her advice on blogging and dating, and we kept in touch through the years -- including two summers ago when my kids and I crashed at her amazing, rambling yellow farm house she shares wit her wonderful second husband, their four collective kids and a few animals. In this episode Alaina and I discuss the state of single motherhood, why the world has it all wrong when it comes to moms dating, and how she went from being a blissfully single mom to falling hard and fast for the soul-mate-man-of-her dreams. Read my profile of Alaina on Forbes: How Alaina Shearer Launched A $1.2M Marketing Agency As A Single Mom.   Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!    Are you part of the new Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms? No income requirement, though BIG GOALS and a POSITIVE MINDSET required! Join now!

I hear from women who want to game the system, not earn too much so their child support or alimony payments won't be compromised. I also hear from women who pay their ex support and alimony, and they, too, limit themselves out of worry of having to pay out more than they care to. And, they may find themselves doing that very thing. But … who cares?! Ask yourself this: When you are 82 years old, looking back at your life, what do you want to think: Wow, I really stuck it to my ex all those years and cashed his checks. So awesome! Or …. I am so proud that I seized on my creative ideas, worked really fucking hard, created not only a really amazing life for myself and my kids, but also gave them the gift of financial comfort and a role model for making their own dreams a reality — and never being in the crippling situation of financial dependence on another person.   Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!    Are you part of the new Facebook group, Millionaire