Mind Revolution

I’m going to cut right to the chase. If you’re attempting something great – building and growing a business, creating content, working through relationship drama, raising kids, tackling personal projects –  you need support. Period.    And not getting the help you need can make the difference between living a life you love and one you despise.    Somewhere along the way, many of us adopted the notion that the self-made man is the gold standard, the ideal, that our success will be sweeter if we go it alone.    This is a big flawed premise. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Or woman (just to be clear.)    Did you make the device you’re reading this on? Did you cut the trees to get the wood to construct your house? Did you build your car or manufacture your stove? Did you make your shoes? I’m willing to bet no.   We get support in a million ways to live and function in the world. Why do we shoot ourselves in the foot by resisting support when it comes to reaching our goals?    This sometimes happens amo

My take on abundance is that it’s always here, always available. It’s on tap 24/7, ready to pour into your existence. And it’s our scarcity thinking, old stories, and patterns that stop the natural flow of abundance. And all the years of coaching others and my personal work point to this:  No, you don’t have to earn abundance, and you don’t have to wait until you deserve it. It just is.   And I’m talking about abundance in all good things – an abundance of health, wealth, time, laughter, joy… Full, unbridled abundance.   So why might you not be feeling abundance in your life right now?    Old neural patterns, ideas of scarcity, and negative beliefs about money and prosperity divert our focus and keep the abundance-that-always-is out of our awareness much of the time. We get bogged down by our sensory experience and lose sight of all the prosperity and plenty that is around us.    Want to experience more abundance in your life? Yeah, me too! To do that, you must stop doing the following:    Stop blaming. Stop

You’ve probably heard by now about my Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite program. It’s a 21-day program that drips encouragement to help you reset your money mindset.    I’ve been getting some great feedback so far. Here’s what I see the most: It’s difficult for people to stick with the program. It’s hard to create new habits!    Sometimes we get bored with a new habit. Or we forget why we wanted to install a new habit in the first place. Or we just get tired and want to do something familiar and comforting instead.    We have to decide that what we want is more important than staying in the same old thinking and behavioral patterns. You know, the behavioral patterns that are comfortable — the ones that got us where we are right now.   To support you in establishing new habits…   Clearly identify what you want using only positive language. Ask youself… Who do I have to be to live that way or get that outcome?  What beliefs and attitudes do I need to adopt to make this happen?  What routines would

Our mindset can make a challenge feel like a slow mountain climb or make that same challenge feel like a fun learning opportunity.    This year, one of the themes for my clients inside Soulful Business Revolution has been ease. Everybody in there is focusing on finding more ease so that their goals unfold in a way that feels effortless. They’re discovering that it’s possible to do big things with grace and ease.   I’m tackling some big things myself, and my goals are getting me up early in the morning and keeping me up late at night — for now.    As I think of my clients creating the changes they want from the inside out, the image that comes to mind is a pressure cooker. Pressure is applied for a duration of time, and during that time, you can’t tell that anything is happening. You don’t get to see any progress until the pressure is released, and — voila — you have the beautiful, delicious finished product!   It’s much the same way with personal transformations. When we’re in the thick of it, we can’t see th

When I recorded this episode, the 2022 Winter Olympics were underway in Beijing, China. After watching an interview with an Olympic skier, I was struck by the parallels between you and me.    An Olympian may train for decades for a 30-second race or downhill ski run. If that race was all that mattered, that could be pretty depressing. After all, there can only be one winner.    But if the ultimate goal is to get better and improve personally, then every race and workout can be a triumph and a stepping stone toward something incredible. When we focus on improvement and find purpose and joy in getting better, that puts the everyday “grind” in a new, sustainable light.    When the focus is on progress, that puts me in control of my outcomes.    If you’re building a business or on a self-improvement journey (which really, business growth IS personal growth), just like an Olympian, you’ve got to be in it for the long haul. There are no quick fixes and no shortcuts.    When I transitioned my face-to-face coaching b

Last week one of my clients got an unpleasant text and said, “I don’t know why they keep doing that!”   My response was, “Let’s read that text again and pretend like it’s your unconscious mind talking to you.”    We uncovered some ideas that she had believed for a long time, but she had been looking at it from "It's them and not me." And when she embraced "This is me because my unconscious mind is me," then we were able to do some magnificent work.    Metaphors and symbols are the language of the unconscious mind. Carl Jung and Milton Erickson would say that your whole life experience is one big metaphor.    Let’s use money as an example because it’s tangible. If your life experience is a metaphor, what does your experience with money tell you about the patterns you’re running inside?   I use my souped-up version of NLP time techniques in my client work to uncover long-existing patterns and beliefs that no longer serve them. We glean what learnings we can take away from experiences, then release negative emot

This past week, a theme popped up multiple times in my work. And it’s a theme that I used to run unconsciously as well. It goes something like this…   “I have to struggle to succeed.”   “People who suffer deserve to succeed.”   “Life is pain.”    “The more I can overcome pain and suffering, the more I prove my worthiness.”   When I was a single mom, I had several girlfriends who were in similar circumstances. We were all hardworking professional single moms who were bringing home (and cooking and serving) the bacon.    We were carting our kids around and supervising homework in between closing deals. We’d get together to sympathize with one another, pump each other up, and lick each others’ war wounds.    Heck, we were proud of those wounds. We were overcoming the hardships — we were doing it!   And at some point, it just became sad. If we were so awesome, why didn’t we have the partner we deserved? Why were our clients and customers such jerks sometimes? Why was life so exhausting?   If this sounds familiar,

All my clients are doing something to improve the quality of other people’s lives. They’re good at what they do, and they have every reason to be proud of their work. So, why do so many of them feel reluctant and foot-draggy when it comes to selling?   It boils down to mindset. The reason you have a hard time confidently inviting prospects to become your client so that you can positively impact their lives is the same reason you have a hard time expressing what you want and need in your relationships.    Our personal lives are often riddled with passive-aggressiveness and hint-dropping while hoping others read our minds. It’s as if we’re wishing our way to helping people see that we’re good enough to help them — and all without saying a word. In NLP, we call this living at effect.   Translated into the business setting, we hope we’ll get noticed and hired without doing the work. And when clients do sign up with us, we often second-guess our service’s value.   The beautiful thing about sales is that you know h

I’m in the middle of preparing to launch NLP Sales School. I’ll deliver the NLP material in a very digestible style and format that I’ve never seen before. I’m super proud of and excited about this legacy product that I’m creating.   We’re launching in less than a week, and, to be honest, the process of creating this course hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. It’s been a lot of work! This process has been a reminder that there’s a balance I need to strike between striving for excellence and giving myself a break.   Case in point… This morning I headed downstairs, as usual, to make coffee before heading to my office. But this morning, I felt a tug inside to pause and look out the window. That glance out the window turned into 30 minutes of sitting in gratitude as I sipped my coffee and gazed over the snowy landscape out the window of our new Kentucky home. The view and the moment were simply breathtaking. Taking it all in was nourishment to my soul.    Then Ron and Gunner came downstairs, and I felt compelled

Carl Rogers, whose work changed the way therapists work with their clients, said that humans are designed for fulfillment, joy, wholeness, and success. We’re created for self-actualization. That’s why we always find ourselves wanting more, striving for more, wanting to be better. We sense that innate potential within ourselves.   It’s like we’re all living with two versions of ourselves at the same time. There’s the self that you are now and the self that you want to be. There’s you experiencing the world now, and there’s your actualized self.    Self-actualization begins with awareness. Awareness of where you are now and where you want to be, and the awareness that everything you need is already inside of you. This awareness allows you to shed comparison and competition, paving the way for personal growth and win-wins.    Awareness helps you shift your direction filter to a positive-toward direction, focusing on what you want rather than focusing on what you don’t want. In this way, the target gets bigger as

Today’s episode is about that voice in your head. The one that second guesses your actions, that says you’re not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?” That voice is your inner critic.  If you have one — you’re not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program...and it felt like a flop because it didn’t reach my expectations. Now, it wasn’t completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for. And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.  What’s interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too. What is the inner critic anyway?  NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts.

I love the Thanksgiving holiday because it’s a reminder of the abundance we experience every day. But instead of focusing on gratitude for this episode, I want to focus on love.   We have many false concepts about love, concepts handed down to us from others and “affirmed” by our life experience. The ego would have us believe that love comes from others as if it’s outside of ourselves. Many of us grew up believing that love is conditional and is something we need to earn.    If we believe love is something we have to earn, there’s an inherent assumption it can also be lost, withheld, or taken away when we don’t perform or measure up.   And if we believe that we only receive love after doing something “worthy,” there will always be an element of questioning our own worth, which can easily lead to a sense of not-enoughness hanging over us.    This is not love.    Love just is — it’s all around you. It’s there whether you accept it or not, and is unchanging and is always available to you.    Why does having an i

Science tells us that we’re exposed to somewhere between 2 and 11 million bits of information per second, but we can only consciously process 50 to 60 of those bits. To simplify things, the unconscious mind creates shortcuts to size up information and reach conclusions efficiently.    That strategy works great for lots of things.   When you arrive at a traffic light, you don’t have to think about what the red light means, and you don’t feel confused about what to do when it turns green. Thanks to symbols and mental shortcuts, you can sail through many daily situations — no problem. Those mental shortcuts can serve us well — most of the time.   When it comes to relationships, though, those mental shortcuts can be a problem. It’s easy for us to jump to conclusions based on our perceptions. We come to conclusions based on what we think we perceive in others’ body language, behaviors, and tone. Then we act on those often erroneous conclusions, causing us to pull back, assume things we shouldn’t, make bad decision

We’re approaching Thanksgiving, and I’m going into appreciation mode in a big way. My kids call this my sappy time of year because I’m in such deep gratitude for everything from sunrises and sunsets to family and my work. I get misty-eyed from feeling overwhelmed with all the goodness in my life.    A big part of what I’m thankful for is you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the messages you send me. It is a joy to share with you what I’ve learned about creating a life you can love. And while today’s episode may seem cliche since it’s airing right around Thanksgiving, the message here is pure gold for helping you get what you want in life.    For years my mom has had the practice of, as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning, she would give thanks — for breath, her pillow, blanket, for her healthy body… I’ve adopted the same practice, though it hasn’t always been my practice.   I know what it’s like to wake up feeling anxious, scared, and totally stressed out. I did that for many years. Giving t

We often have the idea that we have to accomplish or acquire things before having a life we love. Actually, the opposite is true. When you learn to love your life right now, you'll more easily be able to accomplish what you want.   It sounds backward, doesn’t it?    What I’ve discovered is that the people that thrive in my programs are the ones that focus on making their present moment the best that it can possibly be.    NLP teaches that a key component to living a happy life is managing your moment-to-moment experience. You might not have what you want yet or be where you want to be right now, but by managing how you feel, you can train your brain to support you in achieving those things you desire.   Managing your moment-to-moment experience is the most effortless way I know of to get from where you are to where you want to be.   Here are five tips to support you in doing just that.   Write about what you want using positive language (leave out the things you want to “not happen”). Write in as much detail

We’ve just completed our 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough. It was everything I had hoped — and more! After going live nearly every day for three weeks, I was running on empty and in need of a break. When I slowed down and pressed pause, I realized what I was craving most — gentle loving-kindness towards myself.   I’m not talking about self-care. Nor am I talking about eating well, going to the gym, or getting enough sleep. I’m good about that sort of routine self-care.   What was missing was a deeper, more gentle connection with myself.    That deeper kind of self-love, for me, comes from an assumption that I’m worthy. I don’t have to wait or do anything or reach some level of “perfection” before I’m worthy of self-love. Perfection doesn’t exist in the real world. I exist, therefore I am worthy.    Self-love is a state of being. Today I’m sharing ways to cultivate more of that deep self-love:   Have self-awareness. Be aware of what you’re thinking, feeling, and what you want. Be curious about these things w

Part of being human is having a desire for evolution and change. We are seekers of constant improvement. Sometimes change is hard to come by because there’s no clear path to go from where we are to what we want. This is where determination and resolve come in handy.   I think it’s safe to say that if you’re reading this, you want to take charge of making changes in your life.    You’re ready to take an active role in creating what you want in your life experience.    Great — taking ownership of your success journey will require a few things that when you apply consistently will make success a reality faster than you might think.    You must have the potential for change. Nothing will happen without it. So, How do you know if you’ve got potential for change? You feel unsatisfied with things in your life experience and have a nagging thought you’re meant for more. You have a curious mind. You have an ability and desire to learn. You’re ready to take responsibility for the 4 things you can control: Your t

Are you deserving of all good things?   Deep down, do you FEEL deserving?   When I asked the folks in my Abundance Breakthrough that question, I got a mixed bag of answers. Some people said yes, others said sometimes, and some said, “I feel like I have to earn my deserving.”   Many of us grew up with ideas from religion or household rules or other life philosophies about deserving being a prerequisite to having good things, so it’s understandable that the idea of deserving is deeply ingrained in many of us. Deserving presupposes that we have to achieve, do, or prove something to be worthy of having what we want.     Here’s my next question: Who decides what or how much you deserve?   Here are some sobering things I’ve observed about the concept of deserving: Deserving assumes we have to do something to have good things. And if you don’t do those things, then you don’t deserve the good things you want. If we’ve done “good,” then we might feel entitled to those good things — like somebody owes us something. Th

According to the principles of NLP, you’re living two realities — your internal reality and the external reality. And your external reality is going to align with your internal reality. This is why you’ve heard me say if you want to know how you’re doing on the inside, look at what’s happening in your environment.    My clients are “getting” this, and they know to look inward when they don’t like what’s happening in their environment.   Case in point — one of my clients is in an industry that requires her to make telephone sales calls. She had been given multiple verbal yeses from potential clients, but these prospects hadn’t signed on the bottom line. So she had verbal agreements but nothing concrete.   Upon reflection, she had a lightbulb moment. Her prospects were not following through with their verbal commitments in the same way that she was not following through with making her sales calls.   Boom!   This is how it happens. What’s happening internally will be reflected in your environment.   Remember th